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Klopp Talk

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Here's one thing that may or may not be agreed upon or whatever, loads of you here have loads more experience of this kinda thing and these are just observations that probs don't amount to much... but years ago I used to DJ loads round that part of the Rhineland, and when I first got there I was surprised at how massively British influenced their culture was, and how a lot of the locals used to talk in terms of Northern European culture that we were all a part of... which was weird for me as a kid from Liverpool, who'd always been taught Germans were weird and alien, unfunny and totally different to us. There are differences, but when I hear people saying they don't like Germans or Germany I always think you can't be too fond of what you see in the mirror either. We're very fucking alike. And the flight to Duss from Manchester is like an hour. The Manchester to Norwich bit takes longer than the Norwich to Duss bit. We're very close neighbours. I love it in that part of the world, because it's got loads of what's good about round here, but with a twist.

I forgot all this until I got a client in Brussels a while back which meant I was over in that kinda territory again quite a bit, and then when my mate banged his head he was in a neuro ward for six months and I was over in Duss weekly (god bless Ryanair), I ended up having a local boozer which had all the footy on. The local barman was a Liverpool fan, they had flags from teams from around the world but Liverpool was prevalent. The people at the bar, a mix of locals, Irish, brits whatever, the majority supported Liverpool, as a second team if not first. This is a big pub right in the middle of Dusseldorf, which is about 50 miles from Dortmund. I can't speak for that place but I doubt it's much different in that respect.

All the flyers they did for all the events I ever played at were in English. Promoters used to constantly ask how we could make it feel more like an British party... And the footy, even though they have it much better as fans than us now, they see England as the blueprint, even if we've lost our way. It's very easy on our island to think of ourselves as detached from Europe and quite different... whereas there they see us as part of the Anglo Saxon thing, in contrast to the Mediterranean thing. We're close neighbours and we share shit weather, starchy foods, harsh philosophy and work ethic, with heavy classical, hard rock and deranged techno popping out the arse of the mix.

I dunno what my point is, other than they we do have a very similar culture. When Klopp talks about coming here for the footy and fuck the weather or the amenities, this isn't new to him, this has been his whole life, he had the same problem and solution in Dortmund. He's coming from another Northern European industrial town, and there are far more similarities than differences between the two. Where I think we are different is... and this is speculative... is that our media narrative is driven by the lowest common denominator, so the debate about anything has lower standards, less nuance, etc. In Britain we sell a few million tabloid papers a day, only 5% of the population buy them, yet you turn the news on in the morning and all you hear are regurgitated headlines from scoops from the Sun or Mail or Mirror, the lowest quality shite leads the entire debate due to laziness and ease. It might take him a while to get his head round how much idiocy he's expected to pay lip service to. Maureen embraced it, he must have thought how easy it would be to be king of the dickheads rather than go against it. I doubt Klopp will lower himself, so it will be interesting to see what the outcome is when they turn on him. It's not some voyeuristic interest, they fucked Rafa the moment they knew he thought they were idiots so it's a real threat to Klopp's career here. Rafa gave that interview to a Spanish writer about how the English journos would meet up after a match to discuss what they were all going to say, so that they had a common message that the whole country would agree upon, and how pathetic it all was, and from then on they picked out his worst points, magnified them and talked about nothing else until they wrecked him. I can't see that working with Klopp, but we'll see.


That's a very, very, very good post, @Woland. And the point about British media is so true – they can be so destructive and there is almost no defense once they turn on you. Klopp had as good a start with the media as you can possibly imagine, but you can bet at some point they will start pushing and probing, trying to find a weakness to exploit and turn him into a caricature, like they've done to so many others.
 
I dunno if this is true or what but I used to play in this large club in Wolfsberg, and this dude there told me that after the war the British took over the VW plant... it employed (still does) everyone for miles around. They got word that the Russians were approaching and were smashing everything to pieces and looting what they could, so the British got orders to guard the plant, and even hide the huge pressing units by burying them in case the Russians got in. I can't remember the rest of it but apparently the British command were certain that Germany was going to need its industry to be in one piece when they started putting the country back together, and stories like that, whether apocryphal or not, led to a very pro-British sentiment in the area.

Munich is seen by people from the Rhineland as a very different Germany. It's down in the corner, has ace weather, is very Italian influenced, only the alps stand in the way of Italy and it's right on the Austrian, Swiss and Czech borders too. Between it and Lombardi it's one of the wealthiest places in the world and it constantly polls top in global city indexes etc. Himmler's from there, and he was the guy with all the ideas that the volk should have their own market garden full of chickens and shit, which is why they needed all that lovely lebensraum, a world away from the factories and workers of the north. Hitler is Austrian, so his and Himmler's German ideal was a lot more Alpine than anything the guys in the north would know, it was kinda like when Tony Blair and Gordon Brown came down from Scotland and started telling the English what to do. Even Stalin was from the Georgia, not Russia. These outsiders with their big ideas come into the big leagues and start fucking shit up.

Oh shit, don't mention the war. Soz. Klopp's from Stuttgart anyways. It's boss down there too. I'll shut up now.
 
It reeks of Shankly and his thoughts “My idea was to build Liverpool into a bastion of invincibility. Had Napoleon had that idea he would have conquered the bloody world. I wanted Liverpool to be untouchable. My idea was to build Liverpool up and up until eventually everyone would have to submit and give in.”
 
Every new manager usually says some cool stuff when he joins. However, saying that he'll win the league within 4 years is pretty rare.
 
Every new manager usually says some cool stuff when he joins. However, saying that he'll win the league within 4 years is pretty rare.

Yeh, are we happy he's saying that?

About time we do away with those 'five year plan'


http://www.skysports.com/football/n...-manager-brendan-rodgers-has-a-five-year-plan
http://www.espnfc.com/story/300567/furious-houllier-hits-back-at-morgan
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-335450/Benitez-begins-year-plan-cup-final.html
 
This is different. It's a four year plan. We've improved.

What differs Klopp from Benitez and the rest, is that they were a bit vague regarding winning the league in the end of that five year period.
 
Also, Klopp joked about the possibility of not achieving it with his disclaimer in the end "after 4 years if nothing... Maybe I try Switzerland"
 
It musty be awful for Manure and Chelski and Arse fans at the minute, to see us with this dude in charge when they're all managed by convicted sex offenders
 
Also, Klopp joked about the possibility of not achieving it with his disclaimer in the end "after 4 years if nothing... Maybe I try Switzerland"


That's pretty brave, saying it's the league or assisted suicide.
 
It musty be awful for Manure and Chelski and Arse fans at the minute, to see us with this dude in charge when they're all managed by convicted sex offenders


He has a good chin, and also good hair*. This is important.

*I am aware he has had a hair transplant, which isn't so obviously great, but the way he dealt with it in the media made it actually very great.
 
Yeh, are we happy he's saying that?
It's the perfect CEO's scenario:
* Sign up for 3 years
* Implement a 4 year plan
* After 3 years you pick up your loyalty bonus
* Hit the beach(with afore mentioned bonus), sit back and watch the shit hit the fan
 
It doesn't look quite so monster truck in red.

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I love the fact that he actually listens and thinks before answering questions. I know that part of that is down to the language issue but he seemed to do that in German pressers as well. Compared to most other managers it's like there's a proper educated adult in charge.
 
I love the fact that he actually listens and thinks before answering questions. I know that part of that is down to the language issue but he seemed to do that in German pressers as well. Compared to most other managers it's like there's a proper educated adult in charge.
He fascinates me when he talks, he's very composed and thinks about what he says, so much so that you almost forget his English isn't perfect, so it's very odd when he then doesn't know a word.
 
That was all over very quickly, little discussion about the actual game which is a worry, hopefully we are prepared.
 
This poisonous little stick-insect is really the pits. Klopp's not even had a game yet and Dickinson has already lost patience and plunged into his first sneering critique:

Don’t be fooled by the smile, ‘normal one’ has a dark side
Klopp was sent to the stands on at least eight occasions during his time with Mainz and Borussia Dortmund
Alex Grimm/Getty Images

  • 809a2eca-736e-11e5-_994295c.jpg

    Klopp was sent to the stands on at least eight occasions during his time with Mainz and Borussia Dortmund Alex Grimm/Getty Images
Matt Dickinson Chief Sports Writer
Last updated at 12:01AM, October 16 2015

Matt Dickinson says there are many reasons to welcome the new Liverpool manager, but fears that the charm offensive won’t last

As José Mourinho finds fresh conflict and conspiracy everywhere he turns, at least there is that lovely Jürgen Klopp to keep us smiling. Ah yes, the “normal one” with his cool jeans-jacket combo, his self-deprecation, the twinkle in his eye and stylish stubble on his rugged chin. Klopp is the future — bright, optimistic — like Mourinho used to be. Or so we like to think.

“They all end up paranoid and mad,” Gary Lineker once said when dismissing the idea that he would ever become a football manager. We have been so busy gushing over the latest, exciting addition to the Barclays Premier League soap opera that we have rather overlooked that Klopp will not always be grinning. Paranoid and mad? Klopp does that bit, too.

Blaming his woes on referees? Klopp can resort to that cheap tactic along with the worst of them. A check of his misdemeanours shows that he has been sent to the stands at least eight times for volcanic explosions.

Patronising to journalists? Klopp can charm but he can also pull off a world-class sneer. You might think that is no bad thing — the media dish it out, we should take it too — but belittling hacks does not tend to play well beyond a club’s supporters.

How long before Klopp is snapping like he did at Borussia Dortmund in a press conference when it was pointed out by someone from the club’s website that he was on a losing run against Hamburg: “The last thing I need is for you to bring that up, a***hole”.

Or reprising that moment before a Champions League tie, live on television, when a journalist from ARD, the state broadcaster, pushed him on the transfer of Mario Götze to Bayern Munich and he retorted, dripping with sarcasm: “Sorry, what department? Animal documentaries?”

His first press conference at Anfield has been hailed as the most alluring since a smouldering Portuguese charmed every housewife in Britain, and quite a few men besides. Yesterday Klopp was on full beam again, full of jokes about his “funny glasses” while talking seductively about “seeing more fun” in his players’ eyes.

But there will come a day too when he decides that he does not like the look of someone like Stephan Mai, a German TV reporter, who seemed to be around every time Klopp’s Dortmund stumbled on their travels, a coincidence that became particularly vexing after a 1-1 draw away to Kaiserslautern.

“Kiss my a***. Really, no joke. Giving you an interview now . . . that’s as much fun as toothache,” Klopp told Mai, ducking through a barrier with a dismissive “Du Seuchenvogel”, calling the journalist an “infected bird”, a bad-luck omen.

As one experienced German writer explained yesterday, Klopp’s natural demeanour is an eagerness to please and entertain but apply the pressure and he can quickly become cranky.

We love his straight-talking but will it be so appealing if Klopp turns it on officials, using them as punchbags? He has plenty of form. In 2012, Lutz Michael Fröhlich, head of referees in Germany, accused him of inciting violence on amateur pitches by setting a bad example. “Even if he says ‘sorry’ . . . his behaviour was so aggressive that it could lead to violent excesses further down,” Fröhlich said.

The admonishment followed a number of bust-ups right back to Klopp’s early management days at Mainz, including a fine of €12,500 for yelling “you idiot!” at one official.

The rage did not die down when Klopp joined Dortmund, with his touchline explosions including a verbal tirade against Jochen Drees, a Bundesliga referee, and his assistants after a defeat by Hamburg. The abuse started on the pitch and continued as the officials retreated to the changing room, resulting in a €12,000 fine. “I do not know if we’ve ever scored a point with him [Drees]. Probably yes. But it was not because of his decisions,” Klopp said in fluent managerial paranoia.

At 6ft 4in, Klopp can be an intimidating man with a menacing teeth-bared snarl; once shoving his baseball cap right in the face of Stefan Trautmann so that it banged into the fourth official. Make that another €10,000.

Klopp has exported his rage on to the European stage, sent to the stands in Dortmund’s Champions League game against Napoli for pulling at the fourth official’s arm, towering over him and screaming in his face. He could count himself lucky to be banned for two games.

Sent off in March last year for “repeated rudeness” during a game against Borussia Mönchengladbach, Klopp insisted that he was guilty of that “now world-famous look on my face. He can’t send me off for that.”

Klopp insisted then that he had been harshly treated but we should acknowledge that, in contrast to many contemporaries, he does admit when he has gone too far. Looking back at himself after that Champions League explosion, he confessed: “I made a fool of myself and it’s not acceptable. I went over the top, and it was completely stupid.”

Unlike Mourinho, for whom the Eva Carneiro moment is proving terribly self-defeating, Klopp does not regard “sorry” as the hardest word. He has offered apologies in the wake of some of his worst bursts of temper which, cumulatively, have worked out at fines of at least €58,000 (about £37,000) over the years.

Those penalties, of course, mean nothing except loose change and Klopp has shown that he is a recidivist, like most of his dugout colleagues. Football’s ridiculous tolerance of abuse of officials will ensure that he slips into old habits sooner or later.

He will explode here, and it will be a shame when he does. There are many reasons to welcome Klopp as a fresh, charismatic voice and galvanising coach. But another manager raging at officials? We have too many of those already.
 
So he has a dark side, big deal. I'd rather him to show his dark side than comment about how the team "showed character" after a bad game.
 
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