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Football lines so wrong they still piss you off.

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This thread has made me despise that cunt Hodgson a little bit more.

I didn't think that was possible.
 
Who was it said "I wouldn't say he's the best in the world, but there are none better"?
 
I think it was David Pleat.
Could have been.
It could have been Ron Atkinson. I once got a tenner out of "Private Eye" for sending in this somewhat similar gem from him:

"He is without doubt the best centre-back in the world, I'd say, at a guess".

That reminds me of that famous Murray Walker quote: "The car in front is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical".

I suppose if you're trying to find something to say to fill a dull patch in any sport you will come off with such gems now and again.
 
My fave beckham quote :

Interviewer "you get a lot of scrutiny from the press, how do you handle that?"

DB "it's not just the press, John, it's the media too."



Beckham's sitting in first class in a plane going to America. The stewardess points out that he's got a ticket for economy. 'Nah, I always fly first class,' he says. She politely points out that, on this occasion, he's got a ticket for economy. 'Me PA must've got it wrong cos I always fly first class'. So he refuses to budge and the stewardess goes off in search of a superior, but another passenger gets up and says, 'Would you like me to have a go?' So she says 'Yes, please, if you can do it discreetly'. So he goes up to Beckham, whispers something in his ear and, without hesitation, Beckham gets up, gathers his belongings and heads off to economy. The stewardess is amazed and asks what the man whispered. 'I just told him first class doesn't fly to America'.
 
Wasn't there a quote from Beckham where he was asked if he was a volatile player and he agreed and listed all the positions he could play - or am I making that one up?
 
"We're definitely going to get Brooklyn christened, but we don't know into which religion."

"Alex Ferguson is the best manager I've ever had at this level. Well, he's the only manager I've actually had at this level. But he's the best manager I've ever had."

"Pele was a complete player. I didn't see him live, obviously, because I wasn't born."

"That was in the past – we’re in the future now.”
 
“Sandro’s holding his face. You can tell from that it’s a knee injury.”
Former footballer Dion Dublin

“Players win games, but managers give you the impotence to go and do it.”
Welsh international Lee Fowler

“If he’d done that, no one would have batted an eyebrow.”
Former player Phil Thompson

“Frank Lampard has still got the same legs he had five years ago”.
Former footballer and manager Ray Wilkins

“Aaron Ramsey hasn’t always been the flavour of the Arsenal fans’ eyes.”
Former Scottish international Craig Burley

“The ball came off the left breast of Sebastien Bassong.”
Broadcaster Sam Matterface

“Sessegnon gets it on his left hand foot.”
Former manager Iain Dowie

“In his interviews, Beckham manages to sit on the fence very well and keeps both ears on the ground.”
Ex-Ireland manager Brian Kerr

Danny-Higginbotham-Main.png
No mathematician: Danny Higginbotham


You have to give 110%

“It was six of a half and one dozen of the other.”
Chester and Gibraltar’s Danny Higginbotham

“In the last year, 46 of the 92 managers have lost their jobs – that’s over half.”
Former manager David Pleat

“The possession stats at one point were 77% to 33%.”
Former player Mick Quinn

“Liverpool, with their 4-4-1 formation...”
Former footballer turned pundit Jamie Redknapp

“It falls to the ageless 35-year-old Frank Lampard.”
Irish commentator George Hamilton

“Cardiff’s owner is a billionaire. He’s worth about £850million.”
Former cricketer Ronnie Irani

“Who’ll win the league? It’s a toss of a coin between three of them.”
Former player Matt le Tissier


Suhaimi Abdullah
Marina-Bay-Sands-Hosts-Sands-For-Singapore.jpg

Repeat offender: Ian Wright


It’s a game of three halves

“It’s one of them days when you just say, ‘It’s one of them days’.”
Ex-England star Ian Wright

“There’s no such thing as a must-win game, and this is one of them.”
Southport manager Alan Wright

“I think Southampton will finish above teams that are well below them.”
Former Arsenal star Paul Merson

“Steven Gerrard, obviously, is Steven Gerrard.”
Former footballer Alvin Martin

“Brendan Rodgers has been singing the praises of Suarez and Sturridge – the SS.”
Ex-player and radio pundit Alan Brazil

“David Moyes was just staring at me with his eyes. Literally.”
Former Republic of Ireland star Tony Cascarino

“If you’re going to win the Premier League, you’re going to have to finish ahead of Chelsea and Man City.”
Ex-Liverpool manager and player Graeme Souness


Sky
Paul-Merson-on-Sky-Sports.jpg

World class: Paul Merson on Sky Sports


The world is your lobster

“In England, Rooney is a world-class footballer in the world.”
Paul Merson

“There are some real positives for Wales. Their back four’s not bad, sometimes.”
Iain Dowie

“You need 15 players of that elk and then keep them together.”
Former player and manager Bobby Gould

“What I saw in Holland and Germany was that the majority of people are Dutch in Holland and German in Germany.”
Former manager Peter Taylor

“Gareth Bale has been levitated to the status of one of the best players in the world.”
Arsenal legend Perry Groves

“Manchester City are built on sand and I don’t mean that because their owners are from the Arab countries.”
Former England player and manager Kevin Keegan

“Luis Suarez has been talking in Uruguayan.”
Radio pundit Mike Parry


Twitter
Alan%20Brazil.png

Turnover: Alan Brazil


Who’s that chap in the black?

“Sam Allardyce has backed the FA’s decision to overturn the referee.”
Alan Brazil

“The referee has had a word with Vermaelen, in no uncertain tomes.”
Radio Manchester’s Ian Cheesman

“Referees, like most of us, are human beings.”
Football Against Racism chief Piara Powar

Image_6_for_Sheffield_Untied_1_1_Hull_gallery_910412609.jpg
Phil Brown: No carte blonk for him


Dictionary corner

“Too many of today’s owners have carte blonk.”
Southend manager Phil Brown

“There’s been a lot of Pavola about that whole Beckham thing…”
Brian Kerr

“Welbeck, Rooney and Van Persie can be a phenomical strike force.”
Former player and manager Keith Curle

“The aura of uninvincibility has gone, if there is such a word.”
ITV football host Adrian Chiles

“We were de-fragmented.”
Barnsley manager David Flitcroft

“Gillingham have been very dominatative in midfield.”
Former manager Martin Allen
And finally...

“I’m not prepared to make any comments on the World Cup in Qatar in 1922.”
England manager Roy Hodgson
 
Beckham's sitting in first class in a plane going to America. The stewardess points out that he's got a ticket for economy. 'Nah, I always fly first class,' he says. She politely points out that, on this occasion, he's got a ticket for economy. 'Me PA must've got it wrong cos I always fly first class'. So he refuses to budge and the stewardess goes off in search of a superior, but another passenger gets up and says, 'Would you like me to have a go?' So she says 'Yes, please, if you can do it discreetly'. So he goes up to Beckham, whispers something in his ear and, without hesitation, Beckham gets up, gathers his belongings and heads off to economy. The stewardess is amazed and asks what the man whispered. 'I just told him first class doesn't fly to America'.

Pinching that. :D
 
"His favourite left foot" was used again (instead of favoured left foot) referring to Bakary Sako in the Wolves v Leeds game.
 
Wasn't there a quote from Beckham where he was asked if he was a volatile player and he agreed and listed all the positions he could play - or am I making that one up?

Yes!

“Are you a volatile player?”

“Well, I can play in the centre, on the right and occasionally on the left side.”
 
I almost forgot my favourite, Tim Vickery on Lucas:

"He's an exciting player of a type that Brazilian football hasn't produced too many of recently. Of late their central midfielders have tended to be 'holders' who sit and allow the full-backs to push forward.
Lucas is different. He's a big, blonde figure whose power and physical strength comes with attacking ability.
He can pass well and loves to rumble forward. He gets on the scoresheet both with blistering shots from range and from bursting beyond the strikers.
You can certainly imagine him playing alongside Javier Mascherano, for example.
 
Fucking hell. I've read that before, but it gets worse each time you read it. How does Tim Vickery still have a career?
 
You could say that Pogba, Vidal, Schweinsteiger and Henderson are box to box midfielders though.

Rafa defo changed Lucas to a DM.
 
"No backlift at all!" Just said again on MOTD, this time about Charlie Austin. What they mean is, "Not quite as much backlift as is usual".
 
It is not exactly a line but I dont think an article could be more wrong in terms of prediction

Soon enough, the rest of the nation will wake up to Le Tallec's talents. Let's not forget who was named Player of the tournament in the World Youth Championships two years ago," says Chris Bascombe

In most cases, paying #12m for a teenager would be considered rank stupidity, over-indulgence or, at the very least, a gamble which even Chris Kirkland's dad would shy away from. When Manchester United do it, it's a stroke of transfer genius.

According to everyone who they make listen, United have just signed the best teenager in the world. By God are we hearing about it. I'm not doubting Ronaldo's abilities. Clearly he's a talented kid who may be on the threshold of greatness. It just strikes me as rather odd that no-one has given the same attention to Liverpool's equally stunning new teenage recruit.

It seems Gerard Houllier's mistake with Anthony Le Tallec was to buy him early rather than delay until everyone in Europe wanted him. Obviously, Liverpool should have waited until Le Tallec's value was #12m. Soon enough, the rest of the nation will wake up to Le Tallec's talents. Let's not forget who was named Player of the tournament in the World Youth Championships two years ago.

No doubt both Gerard and Sir Alex watched those same youth championships in Argentina a few years back and noticed the same players. Indeed, Liverpool had already signed Le Tallec by then and were strongly linked with Ronaldo themselves, but can't afford to splash out like United. Time will tell who's got the better deal, but for value for money I know who I'm backing. It's a bit like Houllier and Ferguson have both dined at the same top class restaurant and had their pick of the best main courses on the menu. Houllier has managed to get his dish at a quarter of the cost Ferguson has paid, and yet it's his rival who is getting all the praise.
Indeed, I'm getting an eerie sense of deja vu when it comes to the man dubbed TLT who's about to explode onto the Premiership. I remember how slow our London based number one writers were to realise who Steven Gerrard was a few years back.

The Kop Magazine I once wrote even launched a campaign to get him in the England squad, so little attention was he receiving. Then, when the rest of the country noticed a year later, they decided to make him their own property.

It was a similar story with Wayne Rooney at Everton. A friend of mine who works on a national newspaper tried to get a feature on Rooney into his paper in the summer of 2002. They were having none of it. How times changed three months later when "Rooney Opens Crisp Packet" stories were making the front page.

Le Tallec won't get the same attention as Rooney, Gerrard or Michael Owen because he ain't English. But the few glimpses I've had of him remind me so much of the first time I saw Gerrard. So young, yet so full of class. So clearly ready to play at the highest level and begin the learning curve which will take him to the top of the game.
One of the most encouraging, but sadly overlooked parts of Sunday was Le Tallec's being named a sub. Pity he didn't get on, although Houllier said he was prepared to play the youngster if the circumstances of the game had been different.

The career paths of Le Tallec and Ronaldo are sure to cross regularly over the next decade. Should the French gem prove himself the better player, you never know, maybe the manager who signed him will get a bit of credit.
 
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