Goals in his last 8 seasons, 2013-14 first (all comps):
18
12
3
17
10
11
10
7
He is purely brilliant when he wants to be. Astoundingly talented. But he doesn't seem to want to be as often as he should, and that's my issue. I'm all for putting up with footballers that are high maintenance (case in point - the massive cockend we just sold to Barca), but they've got to be bringing it on the pitch to compensate for their baggage.
On a scale of Diouf to Suarez, Balo here is closer to Suarez so might be worth the 17M-odd. You go away to Valencia or wherever in the Champions League and you'd be in a lot better spot with someone like Balotelli in your side - been there, done that, worn the why me t-shirt.
But you don't marry a Balotelli. He'll be gone within 3 years to his next Italian jaunt, we know that. So maybe we let him fuck us with some crazy mad whips, we'll look good with him on his arm when we go out on a Wednesday night, and every so often he'll tell us he loves us.
Take the ride, live it for a few years, but always know what this is - an August 21st signing after all other avenues (Sanchez, Cavani, Bony, Remy, Falcao, etc) have been exhausted. Balotelli is the one bird left at the bar who your mates have fucked and told you to stay away from. We'll still take her home though.