Two weeks ago my little sister succumbed to the cancer she had been battling for over three years. Aged 35 she leaves 3 children aged 15,10 and 9 both parents her 4 siblings and lots of family and friends. I held her hand as she vomitted out nothing but water and bile when she was on chemo. I fed her raspberries and strawberries when she wanted some nice fruits. I held her children as we told them this time mummy won't be coming back from the hospital. I held her after she died, frail, fragile finally free from pain I lowered her coffin into the grave and buried her I couldn't stop her pain, I couldn't make it easier for her. I can't console my mum, my sisters, my wife, my dad. Some days I'm ok and it's not so bad, id got used to the idea a year ago, I knew it wouldn't be long. . at other time it's painful...4pm Thursdays have taken on a new meaning. I expect this is the new normal. She dealt with her pain with the utmost patience, she didn't complain or moan or ask why me. She smiled throughout life ..and died with a smile as she drew her last breath. She had helped those struggling in life children from broken families, children with no families, children struggling with autism.. She then struggled in the last few years of her life..no one really able to help her in the way she helped others. Heres hoping time is a healer for us as we lose the love and smiles from loved ones in our lives.