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Tottenham Hotcunts

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A word on the referee - shithouse! He was trying not to give cards. He spoke to numerous players on numerous players about their behaviour. If he'd dished a few deserved yellows early on, then most of those conversations wouldn't have been necessary.

Yes, the ref looked hopelessly out of his depth, as he's seemed whenever else I've watched him. Walker pretty much made him his bitch.
 
Glad you got home safe.

Signs said the M6 was a mess so headed across the pennines towards Derby to pick up the M1. Big mistake, loads of snow of the high ground and it was drifiting cos of the high winds. Home at midnight. Very, very tired today!

Nice to meet Floyd!
 
Signs said the M6 was a mess so headed across the pennines towards Derby to pick up the M1. Big mistake, loads of snow of the high ground and it was drifiting cos of the high winds. Home at midnight. Very, very tired today!

Nice to meet Floyd!

Who's that?
 
Hey fellas, how you doin? Great night last night, ticklin' the ivories at The Bottletree, Birmingham, Alabama. Weren't my gig dudes, I'd been dragged along for my niece's 21st birthday. Now I'm a man who embraces music of every genre. I've collaborated with Joni Mitchell, Joni Joni, a face like Seabiscuit but a voice like sweet honey Mama, Sir Bob (Dylan that is, not that scruffy hombre from Water Aid), Van The Man (me and Van are like brothers man, we're always Cleaning Windows. He a Windowlene guy, me, well, I dig the Mr Muscle. The arguments we have backstage over the best is wild maaaan). My tastes span the whole musical spectrum dudes. After a night on the tiles, I spark a doobie, lay in my bed, power up my Alba separates and stick on 'Waiting For Cousteau' by Jean Michell Jarre. An hour of whales and dolphins. Out for the count fellas in seconds. I like a bit of rap as well when I'm backstage before a gig, gets the head a boppin'.

But this gig last night was not good my brothers.

Cave 9 Anniversary Show
Reunions by:
Death or El Dona
Steel City Crime
Your Loss
Brothers and Sisters
Judy Garland Death Squad
The Payoff
Alan Ogg
Ex Members of the Holy Trinity
Jim Jim Jim Jim

plus:
Ghost Mice
Droves

Food by: THE BARBECUTIONERS

My ears were being violated. Bang bang bang. Twang twang twang. Vomiting teenagers all in black. I went to the washroom and didn't spot a rogue skateboard, went flying. Lost my hat feather. Distraught dudes. Bob gave me that feather, the one he wore at The Band's Last Waltz gig.

Anyway, I'm an educator, a spreader of sweet music so in the interval I sneak onstage and bang out 'Crawfish Soirée'. Cat looks at me and mouths "Mac, no". But the moment took me and I was in MY world, my fingers gliding over the 88's. The kids loved it, lapped it up. The Welsh Elvis gets knickers thrown at him compadres. The Dr got full bottles of JD lashed on stage. Take That Tom.

Too many whiskey sours. Sore head this morning so I head to Papa Grills on 24th to get some eggs sunny side down washed down with a peaty Islay while I watch The Mighty Reds. Hey dudes, great game. I'm new to this but The Liverpool have always been my team since Ronnie James Dio from Rainbow told me about his escapades with Roger Hunt one weekend in Falaraki. W-I-L-D.

I'm not a dude who enjoys his own company so I page Joey Tempest who is in Alabama recording The Big Reunion USA. Dude says he'll be there in 5 and sure enough my man strides in right on cue, just in time for KO. To my surprise he brings along Brian Wilson. Brian is cool maaaaaaan but fucked up and he orders an Irish Coffee.

The game starts, BANG, Luis scores. Great team goal. Nice skill from the little Italian guy. Next, BANG, Stevie G slams that Gareth Bale. Brian is tucking into a HP Sauce sandwich and looks at the screen, food half hanging out of his mouth. He looked like a Mississippi Red Backed Catfish gulping for air,

"John. John" he pointed at the screen. Looked like the dude had seen a ghost.

"What is it Brian." I asked.

"It's Micky. Micky Dolenz" screamed Brian.

"Where?" I asked.

"There on the tv" he said. "The guy in the white shirt, rolling round on the floor."

I drifted back into my long lost youth and remembered being at a party with The Beachboys and The Monkees at Blondie Chapman's crib. Blondie had put up a Piñata stuffed with Purple Hearts. Brian was blindfolded and breaking more Lladro than imitation donkey. He lifted his blindfold to regain his bearings but lost his balance and fell into Micky Dolenz. Micky did the worst fake fall, reaching up, apparently to save himself, and grabbed onto the piñata which split in half. Micky lay underneath gulping the Hearts. Brian has never forgiven him.

Anyway cats, back to Papa's. Joey has gone to the toilet for a line. How he can eat salted cod after putting that up his nose I don't know. Must be a Scandinavian hard man Thor Odin thing. Brian is incoherent. I'm watching the game. Pain. 1-1. Sip my whiskey to numb the pain. Double pain. 2-1. I order an Absynth. Joey calls for help from the toilets. He's dropped an E and has got the pre high shits but can't get his spray on trousers off. I leave him to it.


S-T-E-W P-O-T. 2-2. I didn't shout Stewpot out loud because Brian would have been selling his Hawaiin shirt to Dirty Vera, Papa's resident hooker, just for an eighth of Nepalese Templeball.

Then the penalty. I expected Steven to miss. But, as cool as his slug eyebrows in a cryogenic tank (I tried a flotation tank with Neil Young once but he just kept moaning about Ontario so I left after 20 minutes) he slotted it.

I jumped. And clapped. And squealed "Yay".
Youre fucking boss.
I want one of these after every game.
If you do that i'll mix you up a sazzle o' gris gris hear?
 
The nastiness, actually it was fucking spiteful and snidey was on show throughout, and it ran throughout their team. That's the first time I've seen that from a Spurs team.

Yes I said to Vlad's Quiff at the time that the Spurs players were both skilful and dirty which made them difficult to beat. Dawson's one of those central defenders who seem to be allowed to get away with murder, and Dembele, great player as he is, was pursuing a personal vendetta against Suarez. I have seen it suggested that this dates back to the Evra affair. Bale's antics were as outrageous as ever, although BBC Radio 5 Live saw fit to introduce the match report with the announcement that "Mr. You-Know-Who Suarez went down in the penalty area!"
 
Yes I said to Vlad's Quiff at the time that the Spurs players were both skilful and dirty which made them difficult to beat. Dawson's one of those central defenders who seem to be allowed to get away with murder, and Dembele, great player as he is, was pursuing a personal vendetta against Suarez. I have seen it suggested that this dates back to the Evra affair. Bale's antics were as outrageous as ever, although BBC Radio 5 Live saw fit to introduce the match report with the announcement that "Mr. You-Know-Who Suarez went down in the penalty area!"

I heard that and was incensed and tried to ring them to correct them on 606. Needless to say I couldn't get through. Both me and the missus looked at each other and went "went down in the area? He was fucking fouled in the area!"

No agenda though. Nosiree!
 
Yes I said to Vlad's Quiff at the time that the Spurs players were both skilful and dirty which made them difficult to beat. Dawson's one of those central defenders who seem to be allowed to get away with murder, and Dembele, great player as he is, was pursuing a personal vendetta against Suarez. I have seen it suggested that this dates back to the Evra affair. Bale's antics were as outrageous as ever, although BBC Radio 5 Live saw fit to introduce the match report with the announcement that "Mr. You-Know-Who Suarez went down in the penalty area!"

That last point, I've made a point to listen to talksport now because 5 lives commentary and analysis team sounds like a bunch of xenophobic guys from the 80's, they're terrible. Stan Collymore runs a decent show on talksport, much better to listen to.
 
That last point, I've made a point to listen to talksport now because 5 lives commentary and analysis team sounds like a bunch of xenophobic guys from the 80's, they're terrible. Stan Collymore runs a decent show on talksport, much better to listen to.

Ok, Collymore is actually good. But the rest of them are the tabloid journalist, hype up twats who wouldnt be out of place working for a certain lying rag. Plus its constant adverts and plugs.

But, at least none of them are Motson or Pearce...
 
That last point, I've made a point to listen to talksport now because 5 lives commentary and analysis team sounds like a bunch of xenophobic guys from the 80's, they're terrible. Stan Collymore runs a decent show on talksport, much better to listen to.


The post match spin on the game on 5 live was a fucking disgrace. I was spitting when I heard their nonsense. Even after the interview when AVB stated it was a peno, they pushed on with the 'controversy just follows him around' angle, instead of accepting it was a foul.
 
Ok, Collymore is actually good. But the rest of them are the tabloid journalist, hype up twats who wouldnt be out of place working for a certain lying rag. Plus its constant adverts and plugs.

But, at least none of them are Motson or Pearce...

Possibly, tbf I've only listened to Collymores show though, he seems to be on there all the time after a Liverpool game, and he runs a great show. I
 
The post match spin on the game on 5 live was a fucking disgrace. I was spitting when I heard their nonsense. Even after the interview when AVB stated it was a peno, they pushed on with the 'controversy just follows him around' angle, instead of accepting it was a foul.

Yep, it was awful and like you say, no one acknowledged AVB's comment at all. It was a penalty, not a player going down under contact.
 
Oh and one more thing. Get well soon Pepe....Brad Jones aint good enough. Too slow, in both decision making and distribution. Shame on anyone who would swap the two.
 
Ok, Collymore is actually good. But the rest of them are the tabloid journalist, hype up twats who wouldnt be out of place working for a certain lying rag. Plus its constant adverts and plugs.

But, at least none of them are Motson or Pearce...

Adrian Durham, that constipitated, adenoidal idiot, is one reason why TalkSport is a joke.
 
We came up against a very good side high on confidence and it showed I think. We struggled in midfield against them - might have been better off going with three in the middle from the start - and I think for part of the first half and much of the second they were the better side.

The encouraging thing is that it didn't look as though the two teams were that far apart. We lacked composure and bite in the middle of the park, nothing new there, and we were nervous at the back, again nothing new. If we can develop some sort of solid platform for our attack (and keep Suarez) we should be able to properly challenge for a top four place next season.

Great to get the win even if I did miss the last goal... stupid mothers day.
 
Andy Gray has always been a pretty fair pundit who calls it as he sees it IMHO. Unlike Keys, who has always been a wind-up merchant slime bag.

I hate to imagine slime anywhere near that preternaturally hairy man. A washing nightmare that makes de-greasing sea birds seem easy!
 
We came up against a very good side high on confidence and it showed I think. We struggled in midfield against them - might have been better off going with three in the middle from the start - and I think for part of the first half and much of the second they were the better side.

The encouraging thing is that it didn't look as though the two teams were that far apart. We lacked composure and bite in the middle of the park, nothing new there, and we were nervous at the back, again nothing new. If we can develop some sort of solid platform for our attack (and keep Suarez) we should be able to properly challenge for a top four place next season.

Great to get the win even if I did miss the last goal... stupid mothers day.
Before the game i was saying that we needed henderson or allen to start and sacrifice one of downing or countinho otherwise we would get overrun in midfield and thats exactly what happened. I hope Rodgers learns from this game. Yes we won but the balance wasn't right in that lineup. Would be good for cannon fodder or teams just parking the bus. Also i hope its shown Rodgers how much we need more steel in midfield
 
I agree and disagree. I think Rodgers gambled that the team that started would be best able to crack their high off-side with quick breaks, and early balls. We weren't set up to hold the ball, but to break on them. And in fairness, we did do that, and bar some awful line calls, we may have had a few other chances. We could have been 2 up, and that wouldn't have flattered us hugely if we hadn't conceded before HT. After a time, we just weren't getting the platform to do that, and I think the movement up front wasn't good enough either, and so an extra midfielder came on. I think the gamble was understandable and considered though.
 
to be fair to the irish plonker he stood up for Suarez and pointed out that all defenders put digs and nudges on strikers all the time.

Let's not have red tinted glasses, Suarez is a cheat and always seems to leave his leg in and give players a foot or two.

He has no chance if winning the awards this season. RVP has not scored for 8 games
I was referring to the spurs fans that rang in as per my previous post Fox

regards
 
to be fair to the irish plonker he stood up for Suarez and pointed out that all defenders put digs and nudges on strikers all the time.

Let's not have red tinted glasses, Suarez is a cheat and always seems to leave his leg in and give players a foot or two.

He has no chance if winning the awards this season. RVP has not scored for 8 games

And why is he a plonker if he stood up for Suarez? Pick your words carefully Fox!
 
I agree and disagree. I think Rodgers gambled that the team that started would be best able to crack their high off-side with quick breaks, and early balls. We weren't set up to hold the ball, but to break on them. And in fairness, we did do that, and bar some awful line calls, we may have had a few other chances. We could have been 2 up, and that wouldn't have flattered us hugely if we hadn't conceded before HT. After a time, we just weren't getting the platform to do that, and I think the movement up front wasn't good enough either, and so an extra midfielder came on. I think the gamble was understandable and considered though.

Exactly this.
 
Signs said the M6 was a mess so headed across the pennines towards Derby to pick up the M1. Big mistake, loads of snow of the high ground and it was drifiting cos of the high winds. Home at midnight. Very, very tired today!

Nice to meet Floyd!
We were going nowhere fast and bailed off the motorway and took the A roads. Made it with five minutes to spare. The second most anxious ninty minutes of the day.
What a game eh.
Totally forgot my hangover.
Good to catch up with you and apologies if I wasn't at my most sociable.
Next time hopefully I will be less hangover.
Or maybe not.
 
We were going nowhere fast and bailed off the motorway and took the A roads. Made it with five minutes to spare. The second most anxious ninty minutes of the day.
What a game eh.
Totally forgot my hangover.
Good to catch up with you and apologies if I wasn't at my most sociable.
Next time hopefully I will be less hangover.
Or maybe not.

That's ok mate. Seeing you made me feel that much better. I got the amount of goals right and I said Downing and Suarez would score.
 
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