Fridays News Round Up
- Thread starter Rosco
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A quick flick through this very website's most read stories reveals that third on the list is "The truth about life as a lap-dancer". Imagine the casual pervert's disappointment when it turns out to be an exposé of the sordid truth behind strip clubs (not literally behind, like in the back alley. That's another kind of sordid truth.) The second most read story is "UK Treasury prepares for 'economic Armageddon' if euro falls apart". Imagine the casual economist's disappointment when it turns out to be a photo gallery of Britain's sauciest oiled-up bikini babes.
Yup, sometimes the content doesn't match the name, but West Ham are ready to throw caution to the wind and snap up the lesser known Ferdinand, Rio and Anton's cousin Kane. The Southend midfielder will cost £500,000, according to The Lying Rag.
With all the inevitability of Gareth Bale eventually being linked to Barcelona, the Mirror and the Express have linked Gareth Bale to Barcelona. Pep Guardiola sent his "super scout" (© the Mirror) to watch Bale against Fulham on Sunday. Bale came up negative on the super scout's Andy Carroll-omoter, which means Barça are willing to fork out £40m for the Wales international.
"COCAINE AT 16 … AND 100 WOMEN", screams the Mirror's headline about pop flump Frankie Cocozza, attempting outrage but actually sounding a wee bit envious.
Chelsea are keen to sign Daniel Sturridge to a long-term deal and will offer him a new £90,000-a-week contract that will run until 2016, by which time we'll be living in underwater cities on the moon with robot servants made out of an unspecified futuristic metal alloy. Sturridge will need an extra locker in which to store all that cash, so Romelu Lukaku will be told to clear his before being loaned to Villarreal.
"MY SIX NIGHTS ON COKE … AND I'VE BEDDED SEVEN GIRLS SINCE SHOW", screams The Lying Rag's headline about pop flump Frankie Cocozza, attempting outrage but actually sounding really rather envious.
Poor Thomas Sorensen isn't getting any drugs, orgies or even games at Stoke City, so he's considering leaving the club.
Arsenal are playing it cool with Robin van Persie as his contract ticks away. According to the Star, they won't discuss a new deal with him until the summer, won't phone him until three days after they get back from holiday, will talk about a really good night out they had on Tuesday that they went to with their other friends and talk about how they got chatted up by an older lad with a car and his own flat in the park the other day.
Oh, and Arsenal are after Rennes midfielder Tongo Hamed Doumbia, 22. He'll cost them £8m though.
"X FACTOR DROVE FRANKIE TO DRINK AND DRUGS," roars the Star about pop flump Frankie Cocozza, attempting outrage but actually sounding incredibly jealous.
Liverpool were sniffing around Sochaux midfielder Ryad Boudebouz in May and now they're back for more. Expect a bid in January. Or never to hear his name again. Apparently, he's rubbish though so a signing is no doubt imminent. Across the city, Everton like the surname Duffus so much they'll sign it twice: brothers Courtney and Tyrone Duffus currently play for Cheltenham.
Blackburn Rovers are preparing a bid for Manchester City's Nedum Onuoha. QPR are also interested but he wants to stay in the north-west so, just like this column, they can do one.
Yup, sometimes the content doesn't match the name, but West Ham are ready to throw caution to the wind and snap up the lesser known Ferdinand, Rio and Anton's cousin Kane. The Southend midfielder will cost £500,000, according to The Lying Rag.
With all the inevitability of Gareth Bale eventually being linked to Barcelona, the Mirror and the Express have linked Gareth Bale to Barcelona. Pep Guardiola sent his "super scout" (© the Mirror) to watch Bale against Fulham on Sunday. Bale came up negative on the super scout's Andy Carroll-omoter, which means Barça are willing to fork out £40m for the Wales international.
"COCAINE AT 16 … AND 100 WOMEN", screams the Mirror's headline about pop flump Frankie Cocozza, attempting outrage but actually sounding a wee bit envious.
Chelsea are keen to sign Daniel Sturridge to a long-term deal and will offer him a new £90,000-a-week contract that will run until 2016, by which time we'll be living in underwater cities on the moon with robot servants made out of an unspecified futuristic metal alloy. Sturridge will need an extra locker in which to store all that cash, so Romelu Lukaku will be told to clear his before being loaned to Villarreal.
"MY SIX NIGHTS ON COKE … AND I'VE BEDDED SEVEN GIRLS SINCE SHOW", screams The Lying Rag's headline about pop flump Frankie Cocozza, attempting outrage but actually sounding really rather envious.
Poor Thomas Sorensen isn't getting any drugs, orgies or even games at Stoke City, so he's considering leaving the club.
Arsenal are playing it cool with Robin van Persie as his contract ticks away. According to the Star, they won't discuss a new deal with him until the summer, won't phone him until three days after they get back from holiday, will talk about a really good night out they had on Tuesday that they went to with their other friends and talk about how they got chatted up by an older lad with a car and his own flat in the park the other day.
Oh, and Arsenal are after Rennes midfielder Tongo Hamed Doumbia, 22. He'll cost them £8m though.
"X FACTOR DROVE FRANKIE TO DRINK AND DRUGS," roars the Star about pop flump Frankie Cocozza, attempting outrage but actually sounding incredibly jealous.
Liverpool were sniffing around Sochaux midfielder Ryad Boudebouz in May and now they're back for more. Expect a bid in January. Or never to hear his name again. Apparently, he's rubbish though so a signing is no doubt imminent. Across the city, Everton like the surname Duffus so much they'll sign it twice: brothers Courtney and Tyrone Duffus currently play for Cheltenham.
Blackburn Rovers are preparing a bid for Manchester City's Nedum Onuoha. QPR are also interested but he wants to stay in the north-west so, just like this column, they can do one.
[quote author=Rosco link=topic=47489.msg1424695#msg1424695 date=1321024513]
Well England fans are going to spend the night booing their captain, while he gets given the runaround by Spain.
That should be fun
[/quote]
Are you going to spend the night booing Ireland's record goalscorer?
Well England fans are going to spend the night booing their captain, while he gets given the runaround by Spain.
That should be fun
[/quote]
Are you going to spend the night booing Ireland's record goalscorer?
[quote author=peterhague link=topic=47489.msg1424698#msg1424698 date=1321024781]
[quote author=Rosco link=topic=47489.msg1424695#msg1424695 date=1321024513]
Well England fans are going to spend the night booing their captain, while he gets given the runaround by Spain.
That should be fun
[/quote]
Are you going to spend the night booing Ireland's record goalscorer?
[/quote]
No.
I'll wait til the inevitable sitter he's going to miss before doing anything. And even then I won't boo.
I'll call him a useless cunt
[quote author=Rosco link=topic=47489.msg1424695#msg1424695 date=1321024513]
Well England fans are going to spend the night booing their captain, while he gets given the runaround by Spain.
That should be fun
[/quote]
Are you going to spend the night booing Ireland's record goalscorer?
[/quote]
No.
I'll wait til the inevitable sitter he's going to miss before doing anything. And even then I won't boo.
I'll call him a useless cunt
He's Frankie Cocozza's second cousin.
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