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Jonathan Woodgate is a scout for us.

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Ryan

The Prophet
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Based in Spain & Portugal.

I dare you to beat that for the day's most underwhelming thread accolade.
 
I imagine he comes with plenty of experience watchin Spanish games, given the amount of time he was on the sidelines with injury whilst he when he was last in a Spain
 
Hmmmmm.

Remember when he was part of that racist attack but got off with 100 hours of community service?
 
He was with Lee Bowyer at the time

I suppose thats a better answer than Cloggy will give.

Seriously though - here's the evidence the bouncer gave:
Club doorman Graeme Lawson said the youths were involved in a confrontation with Jonathan Woodgate's friend James Hewison, who had just been ejected from the Majestyk nightspot in Leeds for drunken behaviour.

Mr Lawson told Hull Crown Court that Mr Hewison had "squared up" to the group before one of them punched him in the face and then "bounced" round him provocatively.

Mr Woodgate, 21, of Middlesbrough, Mr Bowyer, 24, of Leeds, and Paul Clifford and Neale Caveney, both 22 and from Middlesbrough, all deny causing grievous bodily harm with intent to Sarfraz Najeib, 21, from Rotherham, South Yorkshire.

The men also deny affray.

Mr Lawson said: "The lad who had punched Mr Woodgate's friend started bouncing around like Prince Naseem, thinking he was going to do it again.

But when his friends ran off, he followed them," Mr Lawson said.

The trial of Mr Woodgate, team-mate Lee Bowyer and two other men charged with attacking Mr Najeib heard that a chase followed the confrontation, ending with the victim being attacked in nearby Mill Hill

I suppose what I'm saying is, the logic appears to be that because the injured party is Asian its a racist attack.

But it looks like a load of drunken dickheads had a row and he came out of it worst.
 
Not sure what to make of this. I've always felt that, for a long time what now, one of the weakest links at the club has been the scouting department.
 
Has he replaced the genius who scouted Alberto and Aspas then ?

Good question, actually. Whoever our Spanish/Portuguese scout is, he isn't very good. Keeps pushing through players whose game isn't at all adaptable to the Premiership (the above two you mentioned + Markovic) or ones with obvious serious flaws in their game (Moreno).
 
This is a bit weird. He's a fucking halfwit, even by footballing standards, so I hope he has some kind of visceral gift for spotting genuine footballing potential, and also someone to write the scouting reports for him, otherwise Klopp will get:

"I saw this player. He was good. He can run fast. I would buy him"

Actually, that sounds like one of mine. Anyway, he's a cretin.
 
I'm not sure. I've just read and heard multiple times that he's really quite remarkably stupid.

That would explain why he's a scout. Of course, his stupidity may become an asset to us. What is the point of having an educated and qualified scout, who writes pages and pages, crunches 50MB spreadsheets of analytical data, building up a case for why you should buy a shit player like Markovic. It just piles unnecessary complexity into a simple decision, and risks you becoming confused fucking the whole thing up. Someone like Woodgate can just sit there and watch, perhaps drool a little bit, then come back with a simple he's ok or he's shit. That's all you want.
 
It's a good gig. Just enjoying The Lying Rag in Spain and reporting back once in a while that everyone he scouts is a wuss unsuited for the Premier League.

Where do I sign up?
 
His drunk Mother attempted to seduce me outside a bar in Puerto Banus about 18 years ago. He had just broken into the Leeds team and she was name-dropping him consistently............it didn't help her chances.
You should have done it, think of the bragging rights you would have had. For about an hour, anyway. That's about roughly how much playing time he had in Spain.
 
You should have done it, think of the bragging rights you would have had. For about an hour, anyway. That's about roughly how much playing time he had in Spain.
And about 60 times as long as the act would have taken
 
Has he replaced the genius who scouted Alberto and Aspas then ?

Apparently so, according to Dominic King (Daily Mail)

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/fo...rge-searching-new-players-Spain-Portugal.html

[article]Jonathan Woodgate is to join Liverpool as a scout for Spain and Portugal.

The former Leeds, Newcastle and Real Madrid defender has been recruited by Liverpool to look after Iberia and fills a role that was previously held by Julian Ward.

Ward was responsible for recommending Liverpool pursue signings such as Iago Aspas, Luis Alberto and Alberto Moreno and is now in charge of the players Liverpool send out on loan.
[/article]

Dated Sep 2015
http://www.liverpoolfc.com/news/announcements/193111-academy-column-loans-and-melwood-training
Liverpool U21s boss Michael Beale:
[article]We are not going to get everyone in there all of the time, so we have now got 12 boys out on loan who could all play for the U21s. I’ve got a big board by my desk with information on when all of our boys will be playing for their respective clubs, and Julian Ward, who is our loans manager at the Academy, does a fantastic job compiling all the information for us.[/article]

Iago Aspas, Luis Alberto, Alberto Moreno, Javier Manquillo, Lazar Markovic, Tiago Ilori...😵
 
Iago Aspas, Luis Alberto, Alberto Moreno, Javier Manquillo, Lazar Markovic, Tiago Ilori...😵

Oh yeah, and Ilori as well – forgot about him. That's the kind of transfer record that gets you fired. We essentially wasted 5 years signing total duds and obvious misfits from this very fruitful part of the football world, while our competitors didn't have to pay all that much for the likes of Bellerin, Zabaleta, Aszpiliqueta, Nacho Monreal – that's just the fullbacks, which is still our dire need. Woodgate can't possibly be any worse.
 
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At least Julian Ward will be well suited his new job. The players he'll be looking to send out on loan will probably be the same ones he recommended us buying in the first place, you know, those ones who can't get a game for us because they're donkey spunk.
 
Slightly off topic, but whatever happened to Michael Owen after he was appointed the club ambassador? I don't think he was even around for the USA tour, which is surely what an ambassadorial role requires?
 
Slightly off topic, but whatever happened to Michael Owen after he was appointed the club ambassador? I don't think he was even around for the USA tour, which is surely what an ambassadorial role requires?
It was a one year contract. When FSG approached him this summer for renewal, it did not happen as his agent was on a honeymoon and Michael does not know the date of return. There are rumours he has been hawked around to several Spanish clubs. To be fair to Michael, he has always maintained that at some point in his life he wanted to move abroad and become a club ambassador of a European club.
 
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