I think that we can all agree that its been a tough time in the career of one Stewart Downing. Between creating a plethora of unfinished chances and his ongoing feud with the woodwork, nothing can seem to go right for the man. I think its time for a change for Stewart and where better to start than changing his image. He doesn't exactly strike fear in the opposition, as illustrated in the image below. With his tight haircut, lack of facial hair and absence of tattoos and piercings, he looks more like an altar boy than a premiership footballer.
So whats more manly, awe inspiring and fear inducing than a beard ? The answer is of course, nothing. Here's what Stewart would look like with a jet black, full and luscious crop of facial hair. For best results, he may have to down several pints of Guinness over the Xmas period.
Following on from this, I wondered what he'd would look like with an eye patch. Imagine the fear that could be inflicted on a full back as Stewart is marauding down the wing in his direction whilst sporting an ol fashioned pirate eye patch. What questions would the full back ask himself. How did he lose that eye ? Could I catch scurvy off this man ? When did Snake Pliskin sign for Liverpool ? The possibilities are endless. The only drawback I can see is a possible reduction in coordination but thats a small price to pay for being seen as a badass.
Finally, I imagined a code red scenario. Imagine if Stewart sported tear drop tattoo's on his face, prominent scaring and piercings. Who wants to tackle a man who's possibly been in prison, may be a gang-banger (not of the Jenna Jameson variety) or is possibly a self mutilating goth. I know I wouldn't. Even Raul Merieles would feel like a nerd in this mans presence.
Anyway, these are my suggestions for the future image of Stewart Downing. Can anybody else add some more ? If we don't help him, who will ?
So whats more manly, awe inspiring and fear inducing than a beard ? The answer is of course, nothing. Here's what Stewart would look like with a jet black, full and luscious crop of facial hair. For best results, he may have to down several pints of Guinness over the Xmas period.
Following on from this, I wondered what he'd would look like with an eye patch. Imagine the fear that could be inflicted on a full back as Stewart is marauding down the wing in his direction whilst sporting an ol fashioned pirate eye patch. What questions would the full back ask himself. How did he lose that eye ? Could I catch scurvy off this man ? When did Snake Pliskin sign for Liverpool ? The possibilities are endless. The only drawback I can see is a possible reduction in coordination but thats a small price to pay for being seen as a badass.
Finally, I imagined a code red scenario. Imagine if Stewart sported tear drop tattoo's on his face, prominent scaring and piercings. Who wants to tackle a man who's possibly been in prison, may be a gang-banger (not of the Jenna Jameson variety) or is possibly a self mutilating goth. I know I wouldn't. Even Raul Merieles would feel like a nerd in this mans presence.
Anyway, these are my suggestions for the future image of Stewart Downing. Can anybody else add some more ? If we don't help him, who will ?
