Breaking down the Premiership ..... badly

[Rosco]

I hope I don't have to explain Breaking Bad to anyone, if you haven't seen it stop whatever it is you're watching and buy the boxsets. It's just better.

Walter White: How did everything get so screwed up?
Saul Goodman: Yeah, you do seem to have a little "shit creek" action going.
[pause]
Saul Goodman: You know, FYI, you can buy a paddle.

Mike Ashley couldn't really do dialogue like this, but with Newcastle sitting 3 points above the drop zone when the January transfer window opened he had a conversation along this lines with Pardew, and Newcastle went out and bought a trio of players from the French League.

Walter H. White: What are you offering me?
Saul Goodman: What did Tom Hagen do for Vito Corleone?
Walter H. White: I'm no Vito Corleone.
Saul Goodman: No Shit! Right now you're Fredo!But, y'know, with some sound advice and proper introductions, who knows? I'll tell you one thing: you've got the right product. Anything that gets the DEA's panties in this big a bunch, you're onto something special. And I would like to be a small and silent part of it. Food for thought, yeah?

David Moyes is Walter White in this scenario, and this is Fergie offering him the chance to take over from him at United.

Saul: All right, $16,000 laundered at 75 cents on the dollar, minus my fee, which is 17%, comes out to $9,960. Congratulations, you've just left your family a second hand Subaru.

This is Harry Redknapp explaining the Christopher Samba transfer to the QPR board.

Walter: Jesse, look at me, you are a blow fish.
Jesse: What?
Walter: A blow fish, think about it. Small in stature, not swift, not cunning, easy prey for predators, but the blow fish has a secret weapon, doesn't he? Doesn't he? What does the blow fish do, Jesse? What does the blow fish do?
Jesse: I don't even know what...
Walter: The blow fish puffs up, okay? The blow fish puffs himself up four, five times larger than normal but why? Why does he do that? Because it makes him intimidating, that's why. Intimidating so that the other scarier fish are scared off and that's you. You are a blow fish. Don't you see? It's just all, all an illusion. It's nothing but air. Now, who messes with the blow fish, Jesse?
Jesse: Nobody.
Walter: You're damn right.
Jesse: I'm a blow fish.
Walter: A blow fish. Say it again.
Jesse: A blow fish!
Walter: Say it like you mean it!
Jesse: I'M A BLOW FISH! BLOW FISH! YEEEAAAH! BLOW FISHIN' THIS UP!

Walter in this scenario is Jose Mourinho's agent, reminding Jose of how to keep the legend alive after shit has gone bad.

Smoking marijuana, eating Cheese Doodles, and masturbating do not constitute as 'plans' in my book!

It’s the equivalent to the response that Rodgers got when he suggested Ashley Williams, and probably a host of other players he worked with before as transfer targets to the rest of the transfer committee.

JESSE PINKMAN
Yo, why would you want this lame ass job anyway? I mean, no offense.

BADGER
Because I'm on probation, yo. Gotta prove to the man I'm rehabilitated.

In this one Jesse = Montse Benitez.

Saul: Christ, you two. All I can say is if I ever get anal polyps, I know what to name them.

I think the two are Joe Allen and Lucas, because that's pretty much what they were last season.

Jesse: Yo man, look, I'm off the heroin. I didn't even like it, anyway. It made me sick. And the meth, y'know, I could take it or leave it. I'm clean, Mr. White. For real.


[Walter tosses an empty beaker to Jesse]

Walter: Prove it. Pee in that.

Jesse: How gay are you seriously?
Walter: Pee in it! They're selling testing kits at the drug stores. If you are clean, I will give you every last dime. [Jesse is silent] No, huh? Well I guess until then, you'll just have to depend on the kindness of strangers to get high. That and your little junkie girlfriend.

[Jesse throws the beaker at Walter. Walter ducks and it shatters against the chalkboard]

Kolo Toure's medical

“Just because you shot Jesse James, don’t make you Jesse James.

This was what Mike said to Walt after he had killed Gus, who was the kingpin of the drugs trade. And it reminds of that game Lucas had against Man City where he "bossed" Yaya Toure. He's still no Jesse James.

If you're committed enough, you can make any story work. I once told a woman I was Kevin Costner, and it worked because I believed it.

There's a couple of contenders for this one. It was either Kenny Dalglish to Suarez before the FA hearing after the Evra incident. Or it's a direct quote from Joe Kinnear recently.

“You are not the guy. You’re not capable of being the guy. I had a guy, but now I don’t. You are not the guy.”



A conversation between Rodgers and Skrtel, following Carragher's retirement.

 

[keniget]

If watching Breaking Bad means that I end up finding this amusing, count me out.

 

[nealmac]

I'm only midway through season 4. I don't want to read that post in case there's spoilers.

 

[Frogfish]

Eh ? Breaking what ?

 

[themn]

If watching Breaking Bad means that I end up finding this amusing, count me out.

Quite.

FUCKING HELL, ROSS !!!

 

[themn]

@keniget
Don't let this put you off, Breaking Bad is pure brilliance.

FUCKING HELL, ROSS !!!

 

[Modo]

How can people be so heartless?
How can people be so cruel?
Easy to be hard, easy to be cold

 

[Mamma Mia]

I liked it.

And keniget, watch Breaking Bad.

 

[tony]

Quiet day in the office eh? Breaking bad is possibly the most overated tv show of all time !

 

[peterhague]

If watching Breaking Bad means that I end up finding this amusing, count me out.

I've been on the verge of caving in to fashion and watching Breaking Bad, against my better judgement. But this makes it look like the writing team is comprised of the more pretentious members of my sixth form English class, yo.

 

[kennyd]

This thread's got to be right up there for the 'Worst & most pointless thread..............EVER' award.

 

[Silver Sean]

Quiet day in the office eh? Breaking bad is possibly the most overated tv show of all time !

You clearly don't understand anything about show running, writing, directing, producing, acting, editing or sound design. All of which are beautifully and immaculately pulled off in one of the greatest character-driven TV series of all time. You probably don't like The Sopranos or The Wire either.

As for the abortion of a thread, that's just as tragic.

 

[peterhague]

You clearly don't understand anything about show running, writing, directing, producing, acting, editing or sound design. All of which are beautifully and immaculately pulled off in one of the greatest character-driven TV series of all time. You probably don't like The Sopranos or The Wire either.

As for the abortion of a thread, that's just as tragic.

I know this wasn't directed at me, but I've never seen the The Wire, or indeed Breaking Bad, so what you say might obviously be true. But I've tried to watch The Sopranos a couple of times and found it rather boring and pretentious both times, and a chore to follow. I think it's massively overrated. I can never understand the Carmella Soprano, character, for example. Is she supposed to be laughably unrealistic? Am I missing some joke there?

I'd be more concerned that it's just me and my low taste if I didn't love other dramas universally acclaimed for those same qualities. LA Confidential, golden age Hollywood films, the good Coen movies, earlier Scorsese stuff, David Lean's films. I think that's evidence of discerning taste. Perhaps I'm just being contrary!

 

[Fallon]

The Wire is sensational, but if Breaking Bad's final 8 episodes can maintain the quality then it will go out as good, if not the better show.

Oh and I fucking hated The Sopranos, the best part of that show was the theme song.

 

[kennyd]

The Sopranos was ace. As is Breaking Bad. Dexter was great too back in the day. Never really got The Wire tho. Overhyped shit to me, I have really tried to get into too, just can't get past the 4th or 5 th Episode. I need subtitles to watch it. We're all different.

 

[Silver Sean]

I know this wasn't directed at me, but I've never seen the The Wire, or indeed Breaking Bad, so what you say might obviously be true. But I've tried to watch The Sopranos a couple of times and found it rather boring and pretentious both times, and a chore to follow. I think it's massively overrated. I can never understand the Carmella Soprano, character, for example. Is she supposed to be laughably unrealistic? Am I missing some joke there?

I'd be more concerned that it's just me and my low taste if I didn't love other dramas universally acclaimed for those same qualities. LA Confidential, golden age Hollywood films, the good Coen movies, earlier Scorsese stuff, David Lean's films. I think that's evidence of discerning taste. Perhaps I'm just being contrary!

Not aimed at you at all, of course.
Carmella is a well-researched, painstakingly detailed (make up, mannerisms, dress, speech patterns) true depiction of a mob wife from New Jersey. Pretentious? It's the finest, most multi-layered and beautifully made TV series in history. There are jokes all the way through the Sopranos. It's one of the funniest shows ever made too. But the humour comes from it being so smart, so well researched and populated by characters that are fully realised, and brilliantly written and portrayed.
I might suggest that all your examples of your good taste (and they are, in my opinion, good) are films. TV has overtaken film is depth of character because when showrunners are given full control they have the time and the self-confidence to trust in the quality of everyone involved to produce storylines and characters that realise themselves over time. There are no short cuts.
Hope I don't come across as a twat here, but I have an MA in scriptwriting and have studied film and TV for a looooong time, and have written screenplays, TV drama pilots and sit com pilots and been to pitch meetings and agent lunches etc in LA. So I feel I have some credentials.
I am particularly protective of The Sopranos as I know Jim Gandolfini's wife and son and this has been a tough time for them.
Anyway, this is a football forum so I'll just end with my usual.
Fuck Chelsea, Fuck Arsenal and fuck the Scum and the BS.

 

[Silver Sean]

This thread's got to be right up there for the 'Worst & most pointless thread..............EVER' award.

Agreed. And yet I've been dragged into it to fight the corner of TV shows, in a football forum. As the kids would say, wtf?

 

[peterhague]

Not aimed at you at all, of course.
Carmella is a well-researched, painstakingly detailed (make up, mannerisms, dress, speech patterns) true depiction of a mob wife from New Jersey. Pretentious? It's the finest, most multi-layered and beautifully made TV series in history. There are jokes all the way through the Sopranos. It's one of the funniest shows ever made too. But the humour comes from it being so smart, so well researched and populated by characters that are fully realised, and brilliantly written and portrayed.
I might suggest that all your examples of your good taste (and they are, in my opinion, good) are films. TV has overtaken film is depth of character because when showrunners are given full control they have the time and the self-confidence to trust in the quality of everyone involved to produce storylines and characters that realise themselves over time. There are no short cuts.
Hope I don't come across as a twat here, but I have an MA in scriptwriting and have studied film and TV for a looooong time, and have written screenplays, TV drama pilots and sit com pilots and been to pitch meetings and agent lunches etc in LA. So I feel I have some credentials.
I am particularly protective of The Sopranos as I know Jim Gandolfini's wife and son and this has been a tough time for them.
Anyway, this is a football forum so I'll just end with my usual.
Fuck Chelsea, Fuck Arsenal and fuck the Scum and the BS.

Fair enough. Most of what you say I could probably let go as fair enough. But if there's a real life mob wife anywhere in America who bleats on about feminism etc in the politically correct language of a University Social Sciences department, I'd gladly re-watch the entire series.

And I'm not sure I agree that 100+ hours that a successful US tv show allows is necessarily good for the art of storytelling. For a start, it becomes a continuing drama, of uncertain length, and that surely has to compromise things. And I'd have thought all the extra hours are as likely to make the writing grow fat as they are strong.

Incidentally, and I know this is very weak 'evidence' indeed, but I remember years ago I read an interview with a real life mobster, asking him about all the different mafia dramas, and he said that The Sopranos was the most ludicrously unrealistic one he'd ever seen in terms of the characters' behaviour and motivations.

 

[Silver Sean]

Fair enough. Most of what you say I could probably let go as fair enough. But if there's a real life mob wife anywhere in America who bleats on about feminism etc in the politically correct language of a University Social Sciences department, I'd gladly re-watch the entire series.

And I'm not sure I agree that 100+ hours that a successful US tv show allows is necessarily good for the art of storytelling. For a start, it becomes a continuing drama, of uncertain length, and that surely has to compromise things. And I'd have thought all the extra hours are as likely to make the writing grow fat as they are strong.

Incidentally, and I know this is very weak 'evidence' indeed, but I remember years ago I read an interview with a real life mobster, asking him about all the different mafia dramas, and he said that The Sopranos was the most ludicrously unrealistic one he'd ever seen in terms of the characters' behaviour and motivations.

In rebuttal:
Carmella's motivations and speech are born out of her frustration at living in a world where she is completely controlled by male dominated mob and church. and her jealousy that Meadow can and will escape it due to her living such a fucked up life. Even God is a man keeping her down. This is why she regurgitates half understood feminist clap trap she's heard without knowing what she's really saying. It's the same as Tony misquoting things his therapist has said to his crew. Her journey through the entire show is one of the best. She has the ability to change but her lifestyle and husband either do not, or cannot. So her arc is one of conflict, both internal and external, throughout.

I've read interviews with mob guys who can't believe how realistic it was and how they thought someone must be ratting on their activities. There we go. The writing is generally stronger in top quality TV dramas due to the way they work as a unit. Give me an example of an original screenplay for a major studio picture over the past 10 years that's even vaguely original or well written? They don't exist. Hollywood has no interest. The fact that people think that Gladiator was a good film tells you all you need to know. Trite, unoriginal and dull.

David Chase always intended the arc to be the exact number of episodes it was after the first season did so well for HBO and they were recommissioned. Breaking Bad on the other hand was designed specifically for AMC to run to the exact number of episodes before they even made the pilot.

But then it's all opinions ain't it?

 

[Judge Jules]

Best part of that show for me was Lorraine Bracco, a.k.a.Dr.Melfi. I most decidedly would.

 

[Modo]

Best part of that show for me was Lorraine Bracco, a.k.a.Dr.Melfi. I most decidedly would.

In Goodfellas yeah I agree.

 

[cloggypop]

Best part of that show for me was Lorraine Bracco, a.k.a.Dr.Melfi. I most decidedly would.

Gloria Trillo for me please.

 

[Mamma Mia]

The opening post remains the best in the thread.

 

[dantes]

"You know what we do". Followed by the netflix ad song. I have little else use for Breaking Bad.

 

[tony]

You clearly don't understand anything about show running, writing, directing, producing, acting, editing or sound design. All of which are beautifully and immaculately pulled off in one of the greatest character-driven TV series of all time. You probably don't like The Sopranos or The Wire either.

As for the abortion of a thread, that's just as tragic.

Au contraire liked the wire and loved the sopranos but to put this in the same catagory is nuts. By the way preferred Homicide life on the streets to the wire ,and as far as sound design was blown away by utopia recently

 

[Woland]

Carmella was better when she a screw in Oz.