I hope I don't have to explain Breaking Bad to anyone, if you haven't seen it stop whatever it is you're watching and buy the boxsets. It's just better.
Mike Ashley couldn't really do dialogue like this, but with Newcastle sitting 3 points above the drop zone when the January transfer window opened he had a conversation along this lines with Pardew, and Newcastle went out and bought a trio of players from the French League.
David Moyes is Walter White in this scenario, and this is Fergie offering him the chance to take over from him at United.
This is Harry Redknapp explaining the Christopher Samba transfer to the QPR board.
Walter in this scenario is Jose Mourinho's agent, reminding Jose of how to keep the legend alive after shit has gone bad.
It’s the equivalent to the response that Rodgers got when he suggested Ashley Williams, and probably a host of other players he worked with before as transfer targets to the rest of the transfer committee.
In this one Jesse = Montse Benitez.
I think the two are Joe Allen and Lucas, because that's pretty much what they were last season.
Kolo Toure's medical
This was what Mike said to Walt after he had killed Gus, who was the kingpin of the drugs trade. And it reminds of that game Lucas had against Man City where he "bossed" Yaya Toure. He's still no Jesse James.
There's a couple of contenders for this one. It was either Kenny Dalglish to Suarez before the FA hearing after the Evra incident. Or it's a direct quote from Joe Kinnear recently.
Walter White: How did everything get so screwed up?
Saul Goodman: Yeah, you do seem to have a little "shit creek" action going.
[pause]
Saul Goodman: You know, FYI, you can buy a paddle.
Mike Ashley couldn't really do dialogue like this, but with Newcastle sitting 3 points above the drop zone when the January transfer window opened he had a conversation along this lines with Pardew, and Newcastle went out and bought a trio of players from the French League.
Walter H. White: What are you offering me?
Saul Goodman: What did Tom Hagen do for Vito Corleone?
Walter H. White: I'm no Vito Corleone.
Saul Goodman: No Shit! Right now you're Fredo!But, y'know, with some sound advice and proper introductions, who knows? I'll tell you one thing: you've got the right product. Anything that gets the DEA's panties in this big a bunch, you're onto something special. And I would like to be a small and silent part of it. Food for thought, yeah?
David Moyes is Walter White in this scenario, and this is Fergie offering him the chance to take over from him at United.
Saul: All right, $16,000 laundered at 75 cents on the dollar, minus my fee, which is 17%, comes out to $9,960. Congratulations, you've just left your family a second hand Subaru.
This is Harry Redknapp explaining the Christopher Samba transfer to the QPR board.
Walter: Jesse, look at me, you are a blow fish.
Jesse: What?
Walter: A blow fish, think about it. Small in stature, not swift, not cunning, easy prey for predators, but the blow fish has a secret weapon, doesn't he? Doesn't he? What does the blow fish do, Jesse? What does the blow fish do?
Jesse: I don't even know what...
Walter: The blow fish puffs up, okay? The blow fish puffs himself up four, five times larger than normal but why? Why does he do that? Because it makes him intimidating, that's why. Intimidating so that the other scarier fish are scared off and that's you. You are a blow fish. Don't you see? It's just all, all an illusion. It's nothing but air. Now, who messes with the blow fish, Jesse?
Jesse: Nobody.
Walter: You're damn right.
Jesse: I'm a blow fish.
Walter: A blow fish. Say it again.
Jesse: A blow fish!
Walter: Say it like you mean it!
Jesse: I'M A BLOW FISH! BLOW FISH! YEEEAAAH! BLOW FISHIN' THIS UP!
Walter in this scenario is Jose Mourinho's agent, reminding Jose of how to keep the legend alive after shit has gone bad.
Smoking marijuana, eating Cheese Doodles, and masturbating do not constitute as 'plans' in my book!
It’s the equivalent to the response that Rodgers got when he suggested Ashley Williams, and probably a host of other players he worked with before as transfer targets to the rest of the transfer committee.
JESSE PINKMAN
Yo, why would you want this lame ass job anyway? I mean, no offense.
BADGER
Because I'm on probation, yo. Gotta prove to the man I'm rehabilitated.
In this one Jesse = Montse Benitez.
Saul: Christ, you two. All I can say is if I ever get anal polyps, I know what to name them.
I think the two are Joe Allen and Lucas, because that's pretty much what they were last season.
Jesse: Yo man, look, I'm off the heroin. I didn't even like it, anyway. It made me sick. And the meth, y'know, I could take it or leave it. I'm clean, Mr. White. For real.
[Walter tosses an empty beaker to Jesse]
Walter: Prove it. Pee in that.
Jesse: How gay are you seriously?
Walter: Pee in it! They're selling testing kits at the drug stores. If you are clean, I will give you every last dime. [Jesse is silent] No, huh? Well I guess until then, you'll just have to depend on the kindness of strangers to get high. That and your little junkie girlfriend.
[Jesse throws the beaker at Walter. Walter ducks and it shatters against the chalkboard]
Kolo Toure's medical
“Just because you shot Jesse James, don’t make you Jesse James.
This was what Mike said to Walt after he had killed Gus, who was the kingpin of the drugs trade. And it reminds of that game Lucas had against Man City where he "bossed" Yaya Toure. He's still no Jesse James.
If you're committed enough, you can make any story work. I once told a woman I was Kevin Costner, and it worked because I believed it.
There's a couple of contenders for this one. It was either Kenny Dalglish to Suarez before the FA hearing after the Evra incident. Or it's a direct quote from Joe Kinnear recently.
“You are not the guy. You’re not capable of being the guy. I had a guy, but now I don’t. You are not the guy.”
A conversation between Rodgers and Skrtel, following Carragher's retirement.