Okay.
I was at a work conference, and late on (im always last at the bar) im sat with two other managers from different stores who i havnt met before. A bloke who i cant remember and this chick Becky.
I have always had a sneaky thing for redheads, and she was quite red-headed, and she looked THROUGH me with her eyes, and i fucking love people who do that. You know what i mean, they stare into your eyes and are violating your soul. Most women do this when they are drunk, their eyes screaming 'You are amazing, i love listening to you, and i want to fuck you to death later'
She hang out when everyone else had gone and we got on like a house on fire.
We stayed in touch after the meeting and eventually i agreed to go and visit her in Boston (lincs not massa) i got there in the evening, and she started telling me about the stump (look it up) and i have since found out that everyone in Boston does that.
So we went to hers and from there to some fucking studenty bar where some fucking studenty band she knew was playing, and i was all like 'Oh this is soo cool' which it wasnt but what the fuck.
We meet a fucking mishmash of oddball friends, wierd girl who lived in a house with no furniture (i didnt ask) her lesbian sister and her lover who had like 40 cats and were all about 'girl power' but still got me to fucking move their washing machine. A skinny bloke from her work who was so fucking flightly i thought he would take off.
I was already thinking, this was all a bit odd, but still i was in her town and my train wasnt leaving for a day or two so i thought fuck it.
We went back to hers that night and.....well basically i said i didnt want to fuck her because we had only just met, and she basically just went ahead and raped me anyway.
I went home thinking 'i HAVE to see this girl again' and a week or two later she visited and was really fucking wierd around all my friends and family doing things like not talking and just smiling and staring into space. She was freaking me out a bit, but then at mine she raped me again, and i thought, this just might work.
I have no idea how long later or whose idea it was but she moved in, she packed her whole life into a mini metro and drove to my house. She put a green sheet on my bed that first night, which i didnt like, she also played Lennon 'Watching the wheels go round' and tried to explain to me how it was this amazing experience, then she played Jim fucking Croce 'time in a bottle' again and a fucking gain and she didnt have a cd player and put a record player under the bed and would just reach down and put these shitty songs on again and again and rock from side to side humming. OH yeah the other one was Don Mclean 'Chain lightening' and she wanted to listen to it during coitus and it was fucking freaking me out.
She carried my poetry around everywhere and started telling people i was 'a poet' she got obsessed with Dylan and would make me sit for hours playing every dylan track and explaining the lyrics and shit........oh fuck its all coming back.
I introduced her to my Sister and she told MY FUCKING SISTER that i had a big cock and was great in bed. I was fucking mortified, although not i would think as much as my sister. I took her to my familys for christmas, and within ten minutes of us arriving she dissapeared upstairs and didnt re-appear.
Ok so these are the REAL issues. I have a very weird metabolism, and i get hungry at really odd times, and she would freak out if i didnt want any food when she did. But the worst thing was her insane Jealousy. She was fucking terrifyingly jealous. I was working away in Milton keynes which was at best an hour and a half drive home, and if i was five minutes later one night than the last, she would fly into a fucking hysterical rage and id have to hold her arms untill she calmed down, and then she would sit on the bed sobbing uncontrollably. I was fucking gutted. It went on for a while with certain things getting more and more scary, i found out she was following me and asking friends about my actions. She then told me that her dad had hung himself and that she had found him, that her brother was a manic depressive and that she had to look after him etc etc it was all so fucking barmy. She was so fucking off key i couldnt begin to remember everything at all, but i have tried to get at least some of the oddness down here for you.
So one day i get home from work and she is sitting on the (green sheeted) bed and crying and tells me there is something she has to tell me, but cant...... the conversation lasts hours with her crying i just cant i cant tell you, etc etc
Eventually i get fucked off and no longer care what the fuck this nutty cunt wants to tell me but cant, so i fuck off out. I am so at the end of my tether, i cant take this barmy shit no mo, so i wait for her to go to work the next day and i pack all her shit in her shitty little Metro and when she gets home and says what the fuck, i tell her to jog the fuck on, cos you are a nut etc etc.
She sporadically turns up at the house sobbing and shit, and bringing blokes round to make me pissed off, and i am thinking poor cunt, run for your life. We are at a managers meeting and she spent (i shit you not) the WHOLE 7 hours staring at the ceiling and whittering to herself and laughing. I am startin to get freaked out and thinking maybe this bitch gonna kill me, when suddenly out of the blue, she dissapears. She has left her job and fucking vanished POOF!
Then about a month later this lad i know tells me she is working in a clares accessories in Boston and that she never speaks of living in Maidenhead.
A few months after this i am helping my company close all their stores down before they pulled out of the country, and i am in boston with the fucking circus freaks, and she walks in and says (as if its the most normal thing in the world) 'I think we need to have a coffee' I think fuck it i'll go incase she stabs me or something. She sits down opposite and tells me that she has sorted herself out, she has a new man who isnt a patch on me yadda yadda, then out of nowhere she says
'I do love him Andy but....' and she leans into me 'he beats me'
I get up and fucking walk out of the coffee shop go to the store, finish my job and leave and am sighing with relief as i drive down the A1.
That chick was astonishingly mental. I think she may have had some bad shit in her past, and i should have given her a massive swerve but fuck it, if nothing else its a decent story on here eh?
