Lukaku's Giant Penis Terrace Chant Is Racist

[manwithnoname]

Romelu Lukaku
He's our Belgium scoring genius
He's got a 24inch penis
Scoring all the goals
bellend to his toes

To the tune of "Made Of Stone" by The Stone Roses

This has been reported by "Kick It Out" to the FA and the club, as it is a racist stereotype and unacceptable.

Unsurprisingly, the ever-tedious Guardian agrees:

"The song about Romelu Lukaku’s penis is not just ‘banter’ because the trouble with supposedly positive stereotypes is that they tend to be accompanied in the minds of those who hold them by distinctly less complimentary ones.

And so with the Lukaku chant. I’m afraid we have to ask ourselves something about those Manchester United fans chanting their great big compliment at Lukaku: what’s the likelihood that the only stereotype those people hold about black people is that they have enormous penises? Honestly, what are the chances? Zero, is the answer to that, whether or not they even realise it."

 

[Glen C]

I've a feeling Lukaku doesn't mind a song about him having a 24" penis. Apart from raising expectations for any future bitches.

 

[LeTallecWiz]

ha ha 'future bitches' ... ha ha

 

[Portly]

Thanks for explaining what this Lukaku chant is all about, @manwithnoname. I was wondering what it was.

I also dislike the "Guardian" and its journalists. I find their dedication to their "progressive" agenda and the ferocious manner with which they reject alternative opinions to be positively fascistic.

 

[manwithnoname]

They're always getting into hot water about racist chants.

I remember with horror and shame the one about Park Ji-Sung, which suggested that he ate dogs in his own country, which was at least preferable to consuming rats in his council house, which would be the case if he'd been Scouse.

 

[FoxForceFive]

They can't claim otherwise though (kick it out), as they can hardly say "we don't agree with racial stereotyping, but in some cases it's ok because it's not done negatively" because it would undermine their entire argument.

It's blatantly harmless fun in this case, but to ignore it would make them look like hypocrites.

 

[Skullflower]

Luis Garcia drank sangria? You fucking racist bastards.

 

[manwithnoname]

They can't claim otherwise though (kick it out), as they can hardly say "we don't agree with racial stereotyping, but in some cases it's ok because it's not done negatively" because it would undermine their entire argument.

It's blatantly harmless fun in this case, but to ignore it would make them look like hypocrites.

Maybe they dislike accuracy? I have never seen Lukaku's penis, but it's quite obvious that his bellend does not reach to his toes, because otherwise I would have seen it.

Personally, I didn't like the ambiguity in the Crouch chant.

Yes he's tall, but surely his feet would only "stick out the bed" if you're talking about a very specifically sized bed - ie one that was too small for his 6 foot 7 inch frame - and it seems unlikely Peter Crouch's bed - assuming that is the definitive bed referred to - would be too small, as he would certainly factor in his own height in the bed-buying process.

Disgusting.

 

[darkstarexodus]

Call me naive but I thought he had a big penis because he's Belgian. Pretty sure I've heard our fans call Mignolet a massive dong before.

 

[manwithnoname]

Luis Garcia drank sangria? You fucking racist bastards.

Yes, but according to The Guardian, reinforcing a positive - or in this case neutral stereotype - is a gateway for the same people to express negative stereotypes, and if encouraged the next chant about Luis Garcia might reference his approval of the massacre of civilians in the bombing of Guernica.

 

[Skullflower]

I love the way the guardian have given away that they think it would be 'positive' to have a 24 inch cock. You have to wonder what they think of women after that.

 

[manwithnoname]

Call me naive but I thought he had a big penis because he's Belgian. Pretty sure I've heard our fans call Mignolet a massive dong before.

They should have referenced his Belgian heritage and incorporated positive associations with that instead.

So research something Belgium is famous for, like chocolate.

 

[davud graham]

That would make the N'gog song racist as it was similarly themed. I don't remember much of a fuss over that but perhaps that's because he was a much lower profile professional and Kick It Out couldn't generate as many headlines. Maybe Carragher was secretly dismayed at the suggestion that he would twat someone with a pound.

 

[Woland]

As a white guy with a 24 inch tool I'm struggling to see what is racist about this

 

[davud graham]

I love the way the guardian have given away that they think it would be 'positive' to have a 24 inch cock. You have to wonder what they think of women after that.

Not to mention it would be a health hazard as if he got a hard on then the loss of blood from other parts of his body might cause him to pass out.

 

[beejay]

As a white guy with a 24 inch tool I'm struggling to see what is racist about this

Don't think garden rakes count mate.

 

[Skullflower]

Not to mention it would be a health hazard as if he got a hard on then the loss of blood from other parts of his body might cause him to pass out.

Leaving the subaltern unable to speak.

 

[Farkmaster]

I'm concerned that the Guardian has stereotyped Manchester United fans. They are all pig-faced cunts, it's true, and as you scan the crowd there's not a face that betrays even a glimmer of intellect... of course... but who is to say that somewhere, perhaps by mutation, perhaps as a precursor to a brain tumor, there is a still-functioning synapse somewhere in that crowd. Who is to say how versed that synapse is in current intersectional feminist identity theory?

 

[tombrown]

Maybe they dislike accuracy? I have never seen Lukaku's penis, but it's quite obvious that his bellend does not reach to his toes, because otherwise I would have seen it.

Did you not know he only has one leg?

Anyway, this is an anti-manc move, so I am 100% OK with it.

 

[dantes]

Let's get it straight, nobody is racist here. First of all, if it is a racist chant, then the fans have merely committed a racially aggravated offence, which albeit wrong to do, absolutely does not make them racist and no right thinking body would find otherwise. The Guardian need to get their fucking facts straight before branding tens of thousands of people as racists.

I'm not even sure an offence has been committed. It has to be abusive and/or insulting first, then secondly it has to make reference to race and/or ethnicity. Given the chant is not abusive and/or insulting than it is entirely irrelevant what reference it may or may not make to Lukaku's alleged race, since it by definition does not fall into what we would classify as racist.

 

[darkstarexodus]

Let's get it straight, nobody is racist here. First of all, if it is a racist chant, then the fans have merely committed a racially aggravated offence, which albeit wrong to do, absolutely does not make them racist and no right thinking body would find otherwise. The Guardian need to get their fucking facts straight before branding tens of thousands of people as racists.

I'm not even sure an offence has been committed. It has to be abusive and/or insulting first, then secondly it has to make reference to race and/or ethnicity. Given the chant is not abusive and/or insulting than it is entirely irrelevant what reference it may or may not make to Lukaku's alleged race, since it by definition does not fall into what we would classify as racist.

I'm sure United fans have black friends. Definitely not racist.

 

[dantes]

I'm sure United fans have black friends. Definitely not racist.

I'm sure some of them are half black too. Half black from the belly button down.

 

[LarryHagman]

Surely reading the Guardian is the same as reading the Mail, just the other way round? You're a unhinged prick either way. I'm guessing Guardian readers don't see it like that though?

 

[Delinquent]

White middle class men have always been the authority on what is and isn't racist.

Shockingly, some people find being referred to solely in terms of the colour of their skin offensive. It may be indicative of the fact that they have been viewed, first and foremost in terms of their race, on numerous occasions throughout their lives. And it has very rarely been to their advantage. So whilst the suggestion may seem flattering to privileged white people with average-sized penises, it is still a crude racial stereotype, and is necessarily (and legitimately) offensive to many black people.

 

[Brizzle]

My local team had a song for their striker Marvin Morgan that was to the same tune as the Torres chant that was amusing to hear sung at full pelt.


Marvin's got a massive cock. Morgan, Morgan
He tucks it in his football sock. Morgan, Morgan
He swings it round and round his head
He fucked a girl, and now she's dead
Marvin Morgan, Aldershot's Number 10

 

[Jerry Laser]

But what if he does have a 24 inch penis....

what then.

 

[Rosco]

I love the way the guardian have given away that they think it would be 'positive' to have a 24 inch cock. You have to wonder what they think of women after that.

Marina Hyde wrote the article

 

[Jerry Laser]

Oh aaaayeee a ay oh

Oh Philippe
You're a magic little fella
Even from that poor favela
Or from a rain forest

Oh Phillipe
Will you ever wear a thong bikini
Do keep ups with a Caipirinha
Or help Pele ever get it up

and so on.....

To the tune of Mas que nada

 

[dantes]

White middle class men have always been the authority on what is and isn't racist.

Shockingly, some people find being referred to solely in terms of the colour of their skin offensive. It may be indicative of the fact that they have been viewed, first and foremost in terms of their race, on numerous occasions throughout their lives. And it has very rarely been to their advantage. So whilst the suggestion may seem flattering to privileged white people with average-sized penises, it is still a crude racial stereotype, and is necessarily (and legitimately) offensive to many black people.

Those old white men have made it such that racism isn't a tangible thing. The thing in the rules is actually abusive language. Racism is at best a subset of that, a minor additional detail which can aggrevate the more important and actual thing which is the use of abusive words. It's absurd and makes it impossible for a person to be racist because no such thing exists. Fine. In fact it's more than fine as it was Kick It Out along with the papers who all enabled that absurd interpretation in their pathetic attempt to lynch Suarez.

Now all of a sudden they want to examine the meaning of words to infer what people think and what effect it can have. No, that ain't how football rolls so they should just go and fuck themselves.

 

[Skullflower]

Marina Hyde wrote the article

oof