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Windbag Wields the Axe

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Dear Peter,

Some mentally-ill person who thinks they have the authority to control everyone else in the world is using your name to write stupid letters. I thought you should be told.


Love and kisses,

Hyram P Windbag
Secretary to the Hugger-in-Chief

P.S. I have sent this in not one but three envelopes, because I think it's clever.
 
Dear "GK",

Thanks for letting me know about this imposter, the scoundrel! How dare he turn my polite request to refrain from using silly names for Liverpool's manager into an attempt to control everyone in the world, truly shocking!

I fear we have a serial imposter in our midst who has had the gall to also use your log in over the years. I mean, one moment you're posting intelligent and witty stuff to the pleasure of the forum and then this bounder commits internet forum log in identify fraud and starts picking childish arguments with good posters, silly name calling and then disappears for months on end when he feels unfairly picked on.

Please join me in hunting down and evicting this fool.

Fondly,

Peter
 
Dear Peter,

That package that's just come through your letterbox - it's shit.

Best wishes,

LFC Fans
 
gkmacca said:
Dear Peter,

That package that's just come through your letterbox - it's shit.

Best wishes,

LFC Fans
Click to expand...

How dare you post such a weak and silly attempt at humour whilst using "GK"'s log in. He's usually really funny. I'm not responding again until I'm sure it's the real "GK".

Be off with you!
 
Dear "Peter"

Your remarks have been brought to my attention and I am appalled that you are damaging this great club by acting like a self-appointed censor for critical opinions. You must surely know that we only recognise one body for that role: RAWK. I demand that you meet me for dinner at the Hungry Horse in Garstang next Tuesday to explain yourself, and pay the bill. Until then I will continue to pay for a private investigator to search through your bins and make sarcastic gestures behind your back as you walk down the street. I am not threatening you, but I must warn you that things could get very unpleasant very quickly.

Yours sincerely,

Jen Chang.
 
gkmacca said:
Dear "Peter"

Your remarks have been brought to my attention and I am appalled that you are damaging this great club by acting like a self-appointed censor for critical opinions. You must surely know that we only recognise one body for that role: RAWK. I demand that you meet me for dinner at the Hungry Horse in Garstang next Tuesday to explain yourself, and pay the bill. Until then I will continue to pay for a private investigator to search through your bins and make sarcastic gestures behind your back as you walk down the street. I am not threatening you, but I must warn you that things could get very unpleasant very quickly.

Yours sincerely,

Jen Chang.
Click to expand...
Again, I refer you to my previous post where I explain that I shall wait until "GK" has reclaimed his log in. There's no way he'd post such pathetic and meaningless shite.

I sincerely hope you don't write for a living, whoever you are.
 
Dear Peter,
I am so impressed by your love for and loyalty to me that you would take it upon yourself to pursue this gkmacca fellow until you've hunted him down like a dog. I know that you know that I'm hopelessly out of my depth at this club and therefore lack the strength of character to cope with one fan on one tiny forum being critical of me, so your courage and bravery and guts in silencing him is, believe me, something I really value. Please keep up this really noble enterprise for as long as this club is lucky enough to have Brendan Rodgers as its manager, and do thank all of those like-minded forelock-tuggers around you for sitting back and allowing you to fight for your life to maintain this one-bigot campaign.


Okay Okay Okay

Windbag
 
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