You know that Martin Tyler is a 'closet' red? I was surprised as well. True though
Pre-match thread Man U (H) - 5 March 16:30
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In that case he's got acute Lawrenson Syndrome, i.e.a pundit with a Liverpool connection trying so hard to be unbiased that he ends up sounding anti-LFC.
Barry Davies and Brian Moore were the masters for me. Kept it to the game, didn't go on about loads of bullshit they'd 'researched' that they have to crowbar into their commentary. They saw their job as gilding the spectacle, not banging on and on like they're paid by the word.
All the modern day ones are shite. That Darren Fletcher never takes a fucking breath. Prattles on with his pre-prepared bullshit and ruins any big moment because he thinks hearing his voice is the most important thing. Cunts the lot of them. I dream of a channel where you can watch without commentary and just with crowd noise. I'd pay double for that.
Nailed it.
What I want is someone to describe what I can’t see or is out of the norm. Or cut them completely.
Get back in the kitchen.
My grandad would watch the game on mute, and was just waiting for someone to ask him why. He'd happily explain that the commentators made sense when it was on radio, but now he could bloody well see what was going on from his chair on Chelwood Ave, thank you very much.
Funny thing was he was half blind for the last decade or so, but you wouldn't notice because he had such military precision that he remembered where everything was, exactly.
Until he had absolutely fuck all idea who just won the game he was watching. What did it matter anyway? They weren't even from Liverpool anymore. Bloody Germans!
Funny thing was he was half blind for the last decade or so, but you wouldn't notice because he had such military precision that he remembered where everything was, exactly.
Until he had absolutely fuck all idea who just won the game he was watching. What did it matter anyway? They weren't even from Liverpool anymore. Bloody Germans!
He is.
He’s very biased but I don’t mind it. It’s entertaining but with little insight. Ryan would hate it I’m sure. I’d rather hear from players who played at very top than mates in the pub tbh.
I don't mind the bias in the punditry, it's just the way the industry has gone. But shouldn't be bias in the commentary booth imo.
Despite this, I enjoyed Sunday tremendously.
Despite this, I enjoyed Sunday tremendously.
Knew it would happen, it's called "putting them out their misery & taking pity" which is obviously learned from the "laws of the game"
...although a ref or senior former ref would never actually come out and freely admit so.
Although Lawrenson is as thick as two short planks, in his defence.
Oh man - That's some solid gold posting. Good work sirI'll have to do it, then:
PREMATCH
On confidence:
"After so many years i no longer dread anfield. BRING.
IT.
ON."
"Why on earth would you be happy with a draw"
On matchups:
"Antony is good at tracking back so we have that going for us."
On Omens!
We haven't won at Anfield in 7 years apparently.
Now there's an omen. Talk about a 7 year itch..
Prescient Complaints:
The score predictor only goes up to 5
Students of History:
Souness can only dream of reaching the heights in football like Casemiro
0-0
On Shaky Starts:
"Don’t worry Liverpool often start strong but don’t have the energy levels to keep this up for more than 20-30 minutes"
"2nd half will be better. "
"Getting there now, it’s coming"
On Andy Carroll:
"Nunez is such a waste of money. Long may it continue."
"We nearly got Donkeyed then"
On Cakpoo:
"Gakpo is such a dope."
"Dodged a proper bullet with him didn't we..."
1-0"Feck from offside to that.
Piss off."
"It's your basic run-of-the-mill variety pass inside full-back that is routinely done at least once by City every game."
"He may have scored but he’s a nothing player!"
"Inevitable. They are just better. Simple as." (followed by pages of righteous indignation to this windup)
"Game over. Shame, we held our own but it's Anfield. We can't win there."
"On the whole we have been the better team."
"Well lose 5-0" (optimistic)
"Clearly back on the PEDs for the special occasion."
"We have been in the position before...hows our bottle."
"I suppose a comeback win is sweeter anyway."
"Ten Hag will sort this. We’ve been behind before to better sides."
2-0
"What a calamity.That's game over."
"Game raising Cnuts"
"This is why I don't pay for Sky sports look at that spitting cnut . Hope he falls out of his seat onto the asholes below."
"That was the most atrocious shit I have witnessed in years."
"And yet Bruno still carries on playing on the wing."
3-0
"Rancid 3-0"
"Fecking new it."
"Missed the first 4 minutes and were 3-0 down? Haha feck me we shite ourselves at anfield"
"That was a pretty spectacular goal. Absolute twats"
"Humbling."
"Nunez and Gakpo- two of the shittest players in the league score obviously."
"I see that we're being Liverpool's bitch at Anfield as usual."
"It's all good. A drubbing defeat is better then a narrow one." (in complete agreement here)
"It's funny, we laugh at and mock Everton every year for bending over at Anfield but every year we are just as spineless, cowardly and fecking inept there. Embarrassment after embarrassment after embarrassment, year in, year out."
"Rattled by the kop once again."
On demonic fitness:
Too many demons from too many years of collapse not yet completely exercised.
On Blame:
"Nice one Shaw. All over the place. Cost us the match."
"Martinez dribbled like fool"
"Bruno's pass is despicable, it's never on."
"Ddg shit keeping there"
"ETH….. man what the hell is this?"
"Thanks for nothing, Weghorst!"
"Casemiro has been abysmal"
...
Q: "Why is the pitch so wet."
A: "It’s raining."
Hope springs eternal:
"3-3 rashford x2 and garnacho with a 93rd minute equaliser."
"Feel as if we are still in this tbh. But it should be a great learning curve for the squad."
4-0"Jeez
4-0
This was from our corner"
"Die."
"That's me out"
"Yep that'll be it for me"
"Not bothering watching us next time we’re here"
"How many lucky bounces on the trot can you get?"
"Salah lucky as feck. hate that twat."
"We're leaving it a bit late if we want to win this."
"They’ve just totally dismantled us. We’ve been so poor and wasteful, and they capitalized pretty much every time."
"It’s just one of those ones. Don’t panic guys."
"Feck off Klopp!"
"I f**King hate Anfield. "
"Time for a full rebuild. Every other game this season has been a false dawn. THIS is the reality. Need to get rid of Rashford, Casemiro and Varane asap. Rebuild around Rice with a new forward thinking manager."
"This is pure and total humiliation."
"He had it spot on for the first 41mins."
"Liverpool didn't win this. Didn't deserve a win let alone 4-0. It's purely united's fault. Frustrating."
"I don’t think this game could have gone any worse."
5-0
"There’s shitting the bed and then there’s whatever the hell this is."
"This is going to derail our season, complete obliteration"
"Comfortably more embarrassing than last season. Astonishingly poor."
"Mentality midgets"
'feck the league. All about the cups."
"Sack Hag, sell Garnacho."
"Embarrassing. This could be the beginning of the end of our season. Spurs and Liverpool are right behind us now."
"I imagine Klopp’s HT team talk must have been: “lads, it’s United”."
"Better to lose 1 game 5-0 than five games 1-0"
"We've just resorted to fouling. This is insane"
6-0
"6-0. Completely destroyed today"
"6 but it doesn’t matter"
"We'd have lost 3-0 just by forfeiting"
"They're the luckiest team ever"
"Salah celebrating as if he scored a Messi solo goal "
"This wasnt the narrative"
"We will never live this down."
"Our biggest ever defeat is 7-0. cmon lads we can do it"
"Bruno is a fecking wanker"
On parenting:
"Fear again. The mind killer. See how Shaw just kind of stood around rather than clearing it authoritatively? That is utterly pathetic. If my 4 year old son had defended like that I'd tell him it was rubbish."
7-0
"This match will go down in history. For at least the next 2 decades there will be clips of this match when we meet the Scouses."
"See, it's a simulation. Everything is going in."
"Who’s the Cnut giggling like a little girl?"
"scouse scum didn't deserve it. Didn't win it. United lost it. "
"Ive never seen anything like this." (I have?)
"Liverpool are back. We just revived them."
"Why did I watch this to the end. I must hate myself."
"Buy the club and never let this happen again."
"This is being beamed all over the world."
"I remember times under Sir Alex when he specifically told players to ease off. Does Firmino really look any better for scoring the 7th goal in a 7-0 win where a team has clearly given up? Not saying it is a great crime, just would have shown a bit of class from Klopp to just lock things down a little."
Yes, one unfortunate effect of which is that he thinks he's funny and insists on trying to prove it, when in fact he's about as funny as Eeyore on Mogadon.
Nice. Eeyore on Mogadon is getting used again.
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