As we seem to be spending time on talk of the sex, lately...
Do we have any swingers on the site? Has anybody ever tried it? Contemplated it?
I was casually approached by a friend recently, who told me that he and his wife were swingers and that they each found both of us attractive, and if we were interested in trying it, they'd like to 'have some fun' with us. Boy/girl, boy/girl, of course.
Although I turned him down on his kind offer, it did get me thinking...
I wasn't offended that he offered, nor did I flip out that he brought it up. In fact, I was quite flattered that he (they) were interested - After ten years together, having somebody else interested in you is not something that often comes up!
I've often thought that those people who can 'compartmentalise' the act of sex as something from which they simply gain physical pleasure, and do not use it to define themselves or their relationships, might actually have a better handle on it, than those of us who do not look at it in the same manner.
They might.
Don't get me wrong... I'm not hankering to see some young stud prove his manhood to my missus any time soon. But if you remove the feelings that don't HAVE to be attached to the act, and it was only two grown and consenting adults enjoying physical pleasure, then going back to 'normality', would it really be all that wrong?
We've all (ok, most) had one-night-stands, right? Where we've just lived for the moment, and not thought about it afterwards... Isn't the concept here something similar? We've all (ok, most) watched porn, and been turned on by it... The random passion, the sheer, basic physical pleasure of it all. Isn't that all we're talking about here?
And we've all (ok, most) had sex with other folks before meeting our partners, right? And they have too, before meeting us...
Now, all of the above is dependant upon the premise that all parties involved could guarantee 100% that there would be no hangover, no afters, no resentment. And that's the real thing, isn't it? How many out there really could say in all certainty that they could resume business as usual the next morning, and from then on..? Wouldn't there always be the obvious niggling thoughts: Was he/she better than me? Did he/she enjoy that more than our usual exploits? Is he/she thinking of her/him when we're together now? etc...
You'd have to be a REALLY strong couple, with an EXTREMELY open and enlightened view on sex and relationships to make such a choice and not end up regretting it, wouldn't you? And you're risking an awful lot, if it all backfires on you.
Society puts such a HUGE emphasis on sex and what we should and shouldn't do, and how we should and shouldn't react in certain scenarios, etc... I think that it's all crap, that there are no hard and fast rules and that it's this pressure to live up to certain preconcieved notions of 'normal', that is what ruins many a relationship. And that's what I mean when I say that those folks who actually can make this type of thing work MIGHT just have it all down a little better than many of us.
Like I say, this isn't something that I'm looking to do... Amy will not be surprised by my arriving home with a buxom blonde this weekend. But the thought of it (the theory) doesn't disgust me. I don't think that these folks are sick. Or wrong.
And the topic (again, the theory) fascinates me.
Any thoughts? Experiences?
Do tell...
Do we have any swingers on the site? Has anybody ever tried it? Contemplated it?
I was casually approached by a friend recently, who told me that he and his wife were swingers and that they each found both of us attractive, and if we were interested in trying it, they'd like to 'have some fun' with us. Boy/girl, boy/girl, of course.
Although I turned him down on his kind offer, it did get me thinking...
I wasn't offended that he offered, nor did I flip out that he brought it up. In fact, I was quite flattered that he (they) were interested - After ten years together, having somebody else interested in you is not something that often comes up!
I've often thought that those people who can 'compartmentalise' the act of sex as something from which they simply gain physical pleasure, and do not use it to define themselves or their relationships, might actually have a better handle on it, than those of us who do not look at it in the same manner.
They might.
Don't get me wrong... I'm not hankering to see some young stud prove his manhood to my missus any time soon. But if you remove the feelings that don't HAVE to be attached to the act, and it was only two grown and consenting adults enjoying physical pleasure, then going back to 'normality', would it really be all that wrong?
We've all (ok, most) had one-night-stands, right? Where we've just lived for the moment, and not thought about it afterwards... Isn't the concept here something similar? We've all (ok, most) watched porn, and been turned on by it... The random passion, the sheer, basic physical pleasure of it all. Isn't that all we're talking about here?
And we've all (ok, most) had sex with other folks before meeting our partners, right? And they have too, before meeting us...
Now, all of the above is dependant upon the premise that all parties involved could guarantee 100% that there would be no hangover, no afters, no resentment. And that's the real thing, isn't it? How many out there really could say in all certainty that they could resume business as usual the next morning, and from then on..? Wouldn't there always be the obvious niggling thoughts: Was he/she better than me? Did he/she enjoy that more than our usual exploits? Is he/she thinking of her/him when we're together now? etc...
You'd have to be a REALLY strong couple, with an EXTREMELY open and enlightened view on sex and relationships to make such a choice and not end up regretting it, wouldn't you? And you're risking an awful lot, if it all backfires on you.
Society puts such a HUGE emphasis on sex and what we should and shouldn't do, and how we should and shouldn't react in certain scenarios, etc... I think that it's all crap, that there are no hard and fast rules and that it's this pressure to live up to certain preconcieved notions of 'normal', that is what ruins many a relationship. And that's what I mean when I say that those folks who actually can make this type of thing work MIGHT just have it all down a little better than many of us.
Like I say, this isn't something that I'm looking to do... Amy will not be surprised by my arriving home with a buxom blonde this weekend.
But the thought of it (the theory) doesn't disgust me. I don't think that these folks are sick. Or wrong. And the topic (again, the theory) fascinates me.
Any thoughts? Experiences?
Do tell...
