That's right, that's the way - touch it, aye, that's right, it feels nice, so it does!
Mmm, that's a firm grip I've got there, eh? Look, you should be PROUD of your hair! Cherish it! Stroke it! Let me stroke it! Look at me! Come on, look at me!
"Jimmy"?? My name's Brendan, ya wee rascal! Where did he get "Jimmy" from, eh?
Some of you, in maybe forty years' time, will betray me, so you will. Probably on ITV. I've written your names down in these here envelopes...
